Day 3, October 6, 2010

So, today is weigh day...and to my *shock*, I weigh exactly the same. I guess it's better than weighing more. And no, I'm not really shocked. Of course, Joanne has had enough of my incessant crunching and munching all day long. And in the true spirit of being a bosom buddy and lifelong pal, she may have even mentioned something on fb about it. But that is the least of my worries. As I am adapting to my "new" life as a fat slayer, I have noticed something I didn't before. It may come as a surprise to you, but I had forgotten what it feels like to be hungry. Considering the fact that I eat 5x a day, I didn't expect it. But it came. And it came with a vengeance.

While watching the girls at swimming lessons today, I felt....I felt...ummm.......HUNGRY. At first, I didn't know what it was. Then I recognized her for she was ferocious and I quickly I remembered her. I felt so hungry that I thought my stomach was going to eat itself. And of course, I had to pee not once but twice in the course of an hour at the pool. Now, if you have ever been to the aquatic centre you will know what peeing there can mean. Me being a passionate germ-a-phobe, I had to tip toe into the women's bathrooms. Since swimming lessons had been on for quite some time, you can only imagine what the bathroom was like. If I could have avoided it, I would have. But after consuming so much water (thank you dear trainer), there was no way I could wait. So, I decided I would have to face it. I would face the dark deep bowels of the wet bathroom. I crept around the corner and backed in to the stall so as not to see. But I couldn't help it. I had to look. There was bits of wet toilet paper and grits and bits of things everywhere. Looking down, the water on the floor had a slight tint of yellow to it. But I had no choice. Barefeet and all, I was all in now and I had to pee. I began to hover over the toilet seat as it was wet from a variety of wet little girls who pee'd there before me. As I hovered, my quads began to quiver. It was leg and shoulder day at the gym and after doing what felt like a thousand *deep* squats, I knew at this point, my legs would never hold. Crashing down to the disgusting, wet, dirty, germ infested toilet seat, I finally was able to relieve myself. I told myself, it was okay. I would just boil myself after to kill the germs and all would be well again.

Sitting by the side of the pool, I still felt hungry. A woman walked past us chasing her daughter and asked, "does a 3 year old really pee this often". I replied to her, "I don't know, but I sure do". I don't know why but she gave me a funny look and walked away.

I was starting to feel grumpy again. I was hungry, I had to pee again and there was something about my daughter's coach that just bugged me. Every time she walked past me, I was overcome by an incredible urge to body check her into the water. In fact, as she would pass by us, I would whisper to myself...."bodycheck, bodycheck, bodycheck,bodycheck". There was just something about her that made me want to push her off the edge of the pool and into the water. Could it be the fact that I had to pee or perhaps, it was my stomach eating itself, maybe it was the fact that my husband was telling me what I should eat on my cheat day. Yes, I think that's it. Only 18 days until a cheat day. On my cheat day, I get to indulge. Now, considering everything, I was just not in the right kind of mood to have Brad tell me what I should be eating on my cheat day. In fact, I politely said to him (as polite as I can be when I'm irritable) I will choose what I will have on my cheat day and no one on this earth will tell me what I have to eat. Of course, he took full advantage of the situation and continued to tell me what he would like us to eat on my cheat day. He continued to push me. Push, push, push, push, push.....and so it was, like a movie in slow motion I bolted from my seat. I ran at full force and body checked the coach into the pool. Then I laughed.

Okay. I didn't really do it. But I wanted to. Chocolate...does anybody have some chocolate? Day 4....come on day 4.

Andrea:)