Today can be summarized by three things...Elrose, Mamma Mia and urine in a cup. 28 Days...head down, work hard, eat clean. The words of my trainer are still echoing in my ears. If only she knew what lengths I have gone to in order to honor the beaudacious body code. Today I was "pure country". If you are wondering what that means, well, perhaps you should read on....
Brad surprised us with a trip to Saskatoon to take in the ever so famous, "Mamma Mia". Since I am a huge Abba fan and am known to break out in song and dance at the very sound of their voices, it was a super duper treat for me. And since Saskatoon is 2.5 hours away, we embarked on our "surprise" road trip.
It is then when I began my 4 Litre drink-a-thon as I must consume that before the clock strikes midnight. As we approached the thriving metropolous of Kyle, Saskatchewan, my bladder was on red alert. In other words, bursting at the seams. As there was nothing that looked "clean" enough for her highness (me), we pressed on towards Elrose. The Elrose bar is where I like to pee on the way to Toon Town. Ah yes...it was in sight now....soon I would have relief.
The pressure was building and I unzipped my jeans to provide a little bit more comfort. The 2 Litres of water wanted to come out and soon it would see the light of day (literally). I anxiously anticipated arriving at the bar...how glorious it will be to pee. As we approached, my eyes desperately searched but could not find the "open" sign. Dear god...what will I do if they are not open. I cannot go one more mile. Really, I can't. I was almost peeing my pants......but THERE....on the other side of the road....a gas station with a lit open sign. It was like water in the desert.
Heaven's above!! Thank you! We skirted over to the other side of the road....I lept from the car (remember my jeans are not fastened) and awkwardly held my jeans up. Racing towards the door, I reached out for the handle. NO! It is locked. THEY LIED. THEY ARE NOT OPEN! YOU ARE NOT OPEN YOU LIARS!! What am I going to do? The pee was coming and there is no stopping it now. There...beside the CLOSED gas station was a fuel truck. I will seek refuge behind it and pee there. It is kind of private but it doesn't matter now...I am going to pee my pants any minute.
Quickly, I opened the door and grabbed my empty coffee cup (why I put coffee on top of all that water....I will never know). Why the coffee cup you say? Well, like any pure bred farm girl (I am not pure bred...but grew up with some total cows), I know that peeing in the wind can be dangerous. So, I hold the cup up and let 'er rip. The stream of precious pee is protected from the wind and thus never gets on my pants.
I fill the cup up once....oh god...it's still coming...I dump it...pee all over my hand...cup fills a second time....dump it....pee all over my hand....and finally...I fill it half full the the third go. AHHHHHHHHHHH! The relief. And wow...no one drove by, walked by or saw me with my booty hanging out. Well, with the exception of my 8 year old daughter who's curiousity kept her captive for the whole scenario. She then promptly told me upon entering the car..."Mom, that was NOT pretty". Thank you, Eden!!!
(And for all you germaphobes, I carry anti-bacterial sanitizer and wipes in my car at all times so stop freaking over the potty hand. They do it all the time in other countries as they find toilet paper unsanitary). Anyways, I felt better. That's all that mattered. As we drove away from the little town of Elrose, my dear husband mentioned something to me. "Andrea, did you see the sign that said, 'Smile, you are on camera both inside and out'....guess some guys are going to get a little more booty than they bargained for". (He smiled and continued to drive like nothing had happened). I almost choked on my own spit. I asked him why he didn't tell me about the sign and the peeping camera. He told me I was in too much of a flap to pee and didn't listen or heed his warnings so he just let me go. And go I did!!! He apologized to me...I told him not to bother but reminded him that he will have to answer to Jesus. Needless to say, I hear the couch calling his name tonight.
So know this dear trainer....I am committed. I am in this for the long run. I have even em-bare-assed myself all for the sake of attaining a beaudacious bod. I have peed on my hand, peed in more small towns than I have fingers, drip dried and even withstood the cursed weight fluctuations brought on by Aunt Flo. I am kicking some serious chunky monkey a$$ and there is no turning back now. If you can't handle the heat...then git outta da kitchen. You picking up what I'm laying down, sista?
Over.
Chunky Monkey
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Day 27
They say that when running...runners will "hit the wall". It is that moment when extreme fatigue and exhaustion set in and you feel like you can't advance one more step. But pressing through the wall actually creates a little spurt of energy and carries you to your next check point. I HIT the metaphorical wall today. So much that I sat crying in my kitchen. Holy mackeral...I am losing it.
(Insert curse words) Yes, that is exactly how I felt this morning. I am waiting to hear back from my trainer. As you can probably guess, the scale haled bad tidings of great sadness. And the only word that came to mind...well...I actually can't say it. But it was the Mother of all swear words. The big one. And it is the only one that can accurately express exactly what I was feeling when my eyes looked upon the cursed scale. And oh it would have felt good to say...five or six times. Because my 8 year old was a stone's throw away and definitely in ear shot...I decided shouting LIAR! was more appropriate. (That and fudge, fudge, fudge, fudge inside my head...because it's cheat day and I love chocolate)
Of course, I was instantly angry. I have followed this diet to a T and I have worked out hard. I wonder why I am not seeing the scale change. After the anger passed, moments later...if you can believe this.....the tears began. Ahhh! It seems silly to cry about something so trivial. But there I sat, tears pouring down my cheeks. My family completely oblivious to my heartache. So typical. There the wife sits in a pool of tears while the children play and the old man heads outside to "play" with his car. And she is left with the reality that "she is not the fairest of them all". She isn't even the fairest of a few of them. No one can explain the psyche of a woman in the heighth of her frustration and emotional reaction all the while entertaining that wonderful relative, Aunt Flo.
My weight has always been a source of frustration for me. My self-esteem and just how I feel about me really sucks sometimes. And how I was feeling at the moment...the moment we all dread...the moment at weigh in... was not good. Why work so hard and eat so clean only to see.....nothing change. Let's be honest here...my body has changed. But the scale....oh how I hate thee foul creature of my bathroom. If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a bathroom scale. There is no other object in the house capable of creating such sorrow inside the heart of a woman. The refridgerator...well...it may bring some happiness but that feeling is only temporal. And even the odd glass of a dazzling red wine...ahh yes...the taste of happiness in a glass...and even that happiness comes to an end. Happiness...a state of mind that should not be dependant on circumstance but is so easily affected by them.
I sent a frantic email to my trainer expressing my sorrow. I told her I was ready to quit. I was done. I'm out. But after thinking about it...I decided I wouldn't give up just yet. I spent the rest of the day cleaning with my 8 year old. It was a great day. I had so much fun teaching her how to organize and dust and purge. What a glorious feeling it is to purge. And she especially enjoyed going through all my jewelry and acquiring some new pieces for her own collection. I have to say....LOVE TANK= FULL. And she thought it was fun too so we both had a great time. After that, I found the courage to put my gym gear on and face the gym once more. As I rocked out to my cheezy 80's workout music....I whipped my chest and biceps into shape. So much that I had trouble opening the gym door after....my biceps are still trying to figure out what happened to them. Pretty soon....I can get you all a couple of tickets to the gun show....(flexing biceps). Yeah ba-bay!
So besides having a scrap with my lovah and being thouroughly exhausted from cheat day and my weight sorrow....I will lament no more. I will wipe the tears from eyes and try again tomorrow. Tomorrow is rest day...hehehehe. But back to eating clean. The transformation of a person is not easy and it affects the one's closest to us. I am expecting a new me after all this is said and done. A better me. A hawt mamma-me. And I know I will conquer this mountain. A friend who follows this blog emailed me tonight and encouraged me and explained some things to me and well....I am feeling a lot better. Thank you MK!! And really, thank you for following my progress. You keep me accountable. So, thank you bloggosphere!!
Goodnight...sweet dreams...filled with goodies, wine, delectable delights and everything that activates your palette.
PS- I love Jane Fonda...she is my fitness idol. I'm gonna get me a mean pair of wrist bands and a nasty headband....snicker. oooh and leg warmers...I must not forget those. Just picture me in a headband, wristbands, leg warmers and a body suit.....BAH HA HA HA HAA...I think I would be banned from Bodyfit for being "So 1980". That and looking like a hippo in a tutu or is it a moomoo....anyways....not good...the visual...not goooood at all....LOL!
(Insert curse words) Yes, that is exactly how I felt this morning. I am waiting to hear back from my trainer. As you can probably guess, the scale haled bad tidings of great sadness. And the only word that came to mind...well...I actually can't say it. But it was the Mother of all swear words. The big one. And it is the only one that can accurately express exactly what I was feeling when my eyes looked upon the cursed scale. And oh it would have felt good to say...five or six times. Because my 8 year old was a stone's throw away and definitely in ear shot...I decided shouting LIAR! was more appropriate. (That and fudge, fudge, fudge, fudge inside my head...because it's cheat day and I love chocolate)
Of course, I was instantly angry. I have followed this diet to a T and I have worked out hard. I wonder why I am not seeing the scale change. After the anger passed, moments later...if you can believe this.....the tears began. Ahhh! It seems silly to cry about something so trivial. But there I sat, tears pouring down my cheeks. My family completely oblivious to my heartache. So typical. There the wife sits in a pool of tears while the children play and the old man heads outside to "play" with his car. And she is left with the reality that "she is not the fairest of them all". She isn't even the fairest of a few of them. No one can explain the psyche of a woman in the heighth of her frustration and emotional reaction all the while entertaining that wonderful relative, Aunt Flo.
My weight has always been a source of frustration for me. My self-esteem and just how I feel about me really sucks sometimes. And how I was feeling at the moment...the moment we all dread...the moment at weigh in... was not good. Why work so hard and eat so clean only to see.....nothing change. Let's be honest here...my body has changed. But the scale....oh how I hate thee foul creature of my bathroom. If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a bathroom scale. There is no other object in the house capable of creating such sorrow inside the heart of a woman. The refridgerator...well...it may bring some happiness but that feeling is only temporal. And even the odd glass of a dazzling red wine...ahh yes...the taste of happiness in a glass...and even that happiness comes to an end. Happiness...a state of mind that should not be dependant on circumstance but is so easily affected by them.
I sent a frantic email to my trainer expressing my sorrow. I told her I was ready to quit. I was done. I'm out. But after thinking about it...I decided I wouldn't give up just yet. I spent the rest of the day cleaning with my 8 year old. It was a great day. I had so much fun teaching her how to organize and dust and purge. What a glorious feeling it is to purge. And she especially enjoyed going through all my jewelry and acquiring some new pieces for her own collection. I have to say....LOVE TANK= FULL. And she thought it was fun too so we both had a great time. After that, I found the courage to put my gym gear on and face the gym once more. As I rocked out to my cheezy 80's workout music....I whipped my chest and biceps into shape. So much that I had trouble opening the gym door after....my biceps are still trying to figure out what happened to them. Pretty soon....I can get you all a couple of tickets to the gun show....(flexing biceps). Yeah ba-bay!
So besides having a scrap with my lovah and being thouroughly exhausted from cheat day and my weight sorrow....I will lament no more. I will wipe the tears from eyes and try again tomorrow. Tomorrow is rest day...hehehehe. But back to eating clean. The transformation of a person is not easy and it affects the one's closest to us. I am expecting a new me after all this is said and done. A better me. A hawt mamma-me. And I know I will conquer this mountain. A friend who follows this blog emailed me tonight and encouraged me and explained some things to me and well....I am feeling a lot better. Thank you MK!! And really, thank you for following my progress. You keep me accountable. So, thank you bloggosphere!!
Goodnight...sweet dreams...filled with goodies, wine, delectable delights and everything that activates your palette.
PS- I love Jane Fonda...she is my fitness idol. I'm gonna get me a mean pair of wrist bands and a nasty headband....snicker. oooh and leg warmers...I must not forget those. Just picture me in a headband, wristbands, leg warmers and a body suit.....BAH HA HA HA HAA...I think I would be banned from Bodyfit for being "So 1980". That and looking like a hippo in a tutu or is it a moomoo....anyways....not good...the visual...not goooood at all....LOL!
Friday, October 29, 2010
Day 26
Today's forcast: Cloudy with a chance of.....Discouragment, self-loathing and a wee bit of unenthused snarls.
Weight: 162.5 lbs (totally deflated by this)
Status: Discouraged.
And today I have lost both confidence and enthusiasm (ah...but only momentarily...I think). I expected the scale to show that I had lost more than 1/2lb. Alas, half a pound is still better than gaining one. It doesn't seem like enough. And I am not satisfied until I see a change on that darn scale. My body has changed quite a bit but I want to see a drop in the poundage. I am not sure if I am more upset about not losing a significant amount of weight, the fact that I am pre-menstrual or the fact that I am disappointed that I am disappointed. Isn't that silly...I am disappointed that I am disappointed. It's like being afraid that I will be afraid. Or I am sad that I am sad. It's like a double whammy! A double portion of discouragement.
It is Friday. I should be celebrating. ARGH! I am going to go run at the gym...hopefully the endorphins will bring back up to the surface of normal. I WILL NOT quit. Quitters can't be winners and it is not in my genetic make up to quit. I live to play, another day!!!
The three qualities necessary for training:
Great faith. Great doubt. Great effort. --Anonymous
Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
--Harriet Beecher Stowe
No giving up!!! Off to the gym!
Andy :)
Weight: 162.5 lbs (totally deflated by this)
Status: Discouraged.
And today I have lost both confidence and enthusiasm (ah...but only momentarily...I think). I expected the scale to show that I had lost more than 1/2lb. Alas, half a pound is still better than gaining one. It doesn't seem like enough. And I am not satisfied until I see a change on that darn scale. My body has changed quite a bit but I want to see a drop in the poundage. I am not sure if I am more upset about not losing a significant amount of weight, the fact that I am pre-menstrual or the fact that I am disappointed that I am disappointed. Isn't that silly...I am disappointed that I am disappointed. It's like being afraid that I will be afraid. Or I am sad that I am sad. It's like a double whammy! A double portion of discouragement.
It is Friday. I should be celebrating. ARGH! I am going to go run at the gym...hopefully the endorphins will bring back up to the surface of normal. I WILL NOT quit. Quitters can't be winners and it is not in my genetic make up to quit. I live to play, another day!!!
The three qualities necessary for training:
Great faith. Great doubt. Great effort. --Anonymous
Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
--Harriet Beecher Stowe
No giving up!!! Off to the gym!
Andy :)
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Day 25
It was so nice to eat something other than salmon today!!!! That pretty much sums up day 25. It was a weird day for me. I scrambled everywhere I went and yet accomplished nothing. I did manage to squeeze my workout in. I did back and triceps today. Although, I struggled as my left arm is a wee bit tender from the ever so controversial flu shot. Don't ask me what I think about it because I don't know. I alternate...I get it every other year. So I agree with the naysayers on odd years and on even years I go along with the throngs of people desperate to hit the pit and get a little serum for the flu bug. Balance and harmony....lol.
After the gym, I did laundry, fed the dog, dropped off the dry cleaning, returned the empties, picked up water, came home, cleaned my purse, made supper, cleaned up supper, organized the krazy closet, did dishes, candled my girls waxy ears, packed my lunch for tomorrow.....and now I am going through emails, blogging and anticipating a very busy and full tomorrow. I am so behind and I don't like that feeling. Anxiety, anxiety go away....come again another day....little Andrea wants to play.....
I am going to weigh myself tomorrow as I have entered a little weightloss contest with some peops in Alberta. So, I am hoping that I am down in weight. I am already nervous about the scale. I don't like the scale, it is always so brutally honest...can't it just be nice to me? I think that honesty is important...but once in a while..just say something that makes me feel good. Maybe I am just over sensitive when the scale talks to me. But to be honest, it has been really really rude to me in the past and I am not sure I want to be in a relationship with it anymore. What the heck does it know anyways? And who the heck gave it permission to tell me how fat I am??? And why didn't Snow White get on a scale instead of looking into a talking mirror. That is a reality all of us girls have to face at some point. And everybody knows that mirror's don't talk!! How dumb!! I guess that skinny little broad didn't have to worry about her weight. She is SO fairytale. Get a grip on reality Snow White! YOU AREN'T REAL AND NEITHER ARE YOUR BOOBS, JET BLACK HAIR AND SLENDER LEGS! And honestly, is it really that flattering to have a swarm of dwarves trailing you every where you go?
So, that brings me to my next question....(Rant begins....)how often does Barbie have to work out???? Does she go to the gym 6 days per week and eat a lot, I mean a lot of tuna? How come there are no Barbies who have big thighs and a fat arse? WHY NOT MATTEL?? YOU TELL ME WHY NOT??? And you tell me, does Barbie pull a muscle in her stomach on tricep and back day? And does she feel angry because she couldn't get through all her core excercises because of the pulled muscle? And does she go home and take it all out on Ken? And does Ken get mad at her and tell her to settle down? Do the little Barbie babies fight with each other? Do they pull each other's hair and scream and refuse to eat their veggies?? And does Ken remember to take the garbage out on garbage day??? And does Barbie throw her scale through the window and utter curse words at it as it shatters in the street? You tell me Mattel....what is Barbie's life like.....for real? I want a pleasantly plump Barbie with saggy boobs, varicose veins, disheveled hair and a smile on her face because she is REAL.... That's what I want!! (Rant over!)
It's okay to take the bad day out on Barbie...she has no feelings...she's a total plastic. LOL!!
Andy :)
After the gym, I did laundry, fed the dog, dropped off the dry cleaning, returned the empties, picked up water, came home, cleaned my purse, made supper, cleaned up supper, organized the krazy closet, did dishes, candled my girls waxy ears, packed my lunch for tomorrow.....and now I am going through emails, blogging and anticipating a very busy and full tomorrow. I am so behind and I don't like that feeling. Anxiety, anxiety go away....come again another day....little Andrea wants to play.....
I am going to weigh myself tomorrow as I have entered a little weightloss contest with some peops in Alberta. So, I am hoping that I am down in weight. I am already nervous about the scale. I don't like the scale, it is always so brutally honest...can't it just be nice to me? I think that honesty is important...but once in a while..just say something that makes me feel good. Maybe I am just over sensitive when the scale talks to me. But to be honest, it has been really really rude to me in the past and I am not sure I want to be in a relationship with it anymore. What the heck does it know anyways? And who the heck gave it permission to tell me how fat I am??? And why didn't Snow White get on a scale instead of looking into a talking mirror. That is a reality all of us girls have to face at some point. And everybody knows that mirror's don't talk!! How dumb!! I guess that skinny little broad didn't have to worry about her weight. She is SO fairytale. Get a grip on reality Snow White! YOU AREN'T REAL AND NEITHER ARE YOUR BOOBS, JET BLACK HAIR AND SLENDER LEGS! And honestly, is it really that flattering to have a swarm of dwarves trailing you every where you go?
So, that brings me to my next question....(Rant begins....)how often does Barbie have to work out???? Does she go to the gym 6 days per week and eat a lot, I mean a lot of tuna? How come there are no Barbies who have big thighs and a fat arse? WHY NOT MATTEL?? YOU TELL ME WHY NOT??? And you tell me, does Barbie pull a muscle in her stomach on tricep and back day? And does she feel angry because she couldn't get through all her core excercises because of the pulled muscle? And does she go home and take it all out on Ken? And does Ken get mad at her and tell her to settle down? Do the little Barbie babies fight with each other? Do they pull each other's hair and scream and refuse to eat their veggies?? And does Ken remember to take the garbage out on garbage day??? And does Barbie throw her scale through the window and utter curse words at it as it shatters in the street? You tell me Mattel....what is Barbie's life like.....for real? I want a pleasantly plump Barbie with saggy boobs, varicose veins, disheveled hair and a smile on her face because she is REAL.... That's what I want!! (Rant over!)
It's okay to take the bad day out on Barbie...she has no feelings...she's a total plastic. LOL!!
Andy :)
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Day 24
It's always an adventure. I don't even know where to begin. Right from the moment I opened my eyes today, the events in my day have made me spin with excitement. (I am picturing what that would look like...me spinning...so far all I see is a big, round top). Since we we’re "stuck" in Regina after the most amazing GREAT BIG SEA concert, we had some fun times in the Queen city today. I will honestly say, that my heart was elated today...almost as much as if I were trekking through jungles in Bali. That would be so amazing. I love to hike...but to hike in a jungle...in a nation like Bali...mmmhmmm....good times my friends. But the reality is that I am in Regina...not Bali...and instead of rice filled fields...the fields are white with.....snow.
Because I have committed to losing weight, getting fit and being healthy, I think Mother nature has had her nose out of joint. The reason I say this is because last night and today (to date) have been my most challenging days to stay committed because of the storm that struck. After the concert last night, we went to Walmart hoping to pick up a few essentials. We literally had just the clothes on our backs and even though I don't claim to be a princess...well...there may be a few "princess" qualities in me that I am not so willing to admit. Unfortunately, Walmart closes at 11pm and we walked in at 11:03pm. I begged and pleaded with the door greetor to have mercy on us. He did...but he needed to get approval. So he walked over to his little black tele and called his manager. In a frantic and desperate attempt to get my attention, the cute, little elderly door greeter waived me over. The manager wanted to speak with me on the phone. By this time, it was 11:08 pm and I still had no assurance that I would be able to brush my teeth in the morning. After another brief but desperate conversation with the manager, we were granted permission to grab our essentials, pay for the merchandise and scram. Now, because I am eating tuna and rice crackers day in and day out...that is of course part of the things I purchased. Of course, at the till, the cashier inquired as to why I would need 6 cans of flavored tuna and rice crackers. And so, to make a long story longer...I had to explain to the cashier that I am training and the tuna was not to survive in our car all night...but it was to slay the fat monster that has harbored itself inside my thighs.
If you can believe it, my supper tonight cost me $16 at Edo Japan...for some raw fish and some grilled veggies. And you would not believe what I went through to uphold the ever so important diet. I have had more salmon today then I am even willing to admit. I have had it grilled, smoked and even raw!! All for the sake of slaying the fat monster. AND....It is not cheap to eat healthy and clean. It’s actually much more affordable to eat dirty. Sometimes I think I miss eating dirty. I wanna eat real dirty! Saturday....that is the day to get down and eat dirty! Are you ready for some dirty eating??
My dear husband purchased some GREAT new work out gear for me so that I could get my work out in today. (He totally filled my “love-tank). Unfortunately, I am STILL wearing the same underwear I was wearing yesterday and that is really all I can think about. It is driving me crazy. And it is so so so very wrong. I have showered twice and I am still wearing the same underwear. I have purchased work out gear...and I AM STILL IN THE SAME UNDERWEAR. Why the heck didn’t I PURCHASE UNDERWEAR??? Somebody kill me please...put a bullet in my head...I want to dieeeee!! Okay, not really. I actually would just like some clean underwear!
In all the time I had today to think and reflect (about 3 minutes)....I have decided that I like training. And I may want to do it more than my first commitment of three months. However, it is important to me that my dear husband is on board and in full support of it. So, I asked him...”Honey, how would you feel about me training a little more hard core?”. And he simply replied, “Well, as long as you keep boobs, I am ok with it”. I actually can’t believe he said it. Actually....I can. (rolling eyes).
So, we are at my aunt's house tonight and I am having trouble blogging (hard to believe...I know!). I am totally distracted by my day old clothing...more specifically my underwear. But a dear friend of mine emailed me and asked if the Mr. was with me...and upon finding out that he is....she suggested that I do something else...you know...with him.... and I should use my “imagination”. That can only mean one thing......And since our bedroom door does not close all the way, we are at my Aunt’s house (right across the hall from her and my uncle) and the fact that I didn't pack anything including the "pill".....well....as much as Brad would love for some action.....it ain't gonna happen tonight! lol
And overnight dry cleaning actually may solve the clothing crisis but that means I would have to wait naked. And that would make the "little bit of action" part a lot more challenging for me and a lot less challenging for Brad. So, it’s day old underwear for me and a quiet night for Brad!
And here I am making a long story longer...again....here it goes...you’ve heard the all too familiar expression, “it’s not over until the fat lady sings”. Well, I am going to sing now. Off to Superstore for some panties and tuna. Good Lord...Over and out! And in the words of Truman, in case I don’t see ya...good afternoon, good evening and goodnight!
Andy :)
Because I have committed to losing weight, getting fit and being healthy, I think Mother nature has had her nose out of joint. The reason I say this is because last night and today (to date) have been my most challenging days to stay committed because of the storm that struck. After the concert last night, we went to Walmart hoping to pick up a few essentials. We literally had just the clothes on our backs and even though I don't claim to be a princess...well...there may be a few "princess" qualities in me that I am not so willing to admit. Unfortunately, Walmart closes at 11pm and we walked in at 11:03pm. I begged and pleaded with the door greetor to have mercy on us. He did...but he needed to get approval. So he walked over to his little black tele and called his manager. In a frantic and desperate attempt to get my attention, the cute, little elderly door greeter waived me over. The manager wanted to speak with me on the phone. By this time, it was 11:08 pm and I still had no assurance that I would be able to brush my teeth in the morning. After another brief but desperate conversation with the manager, we were granted permission to grab our essentials, pay for the merchandise and scram. Now, because I am eating tuna and rice crackers day in and day out...that is of course part of the things I purchased. Of course, at the till, the cashier inquired as to why I would need 6 cans of flavored tuna and rice crackers. And so, to make a long story longer...I had to explain to the cashier that I am training and the tuna was not to survive in our car all night...but it was to slay the fat monster that has harbored itself inside my thighs.
If you can believe it, my supper tonight cost me $16 at Edo Japan...for some raw fish and some grilled veggies. And you would not believe what I went through to uphold the ever so important diet. I have had more salmon today then I am even willing to admit. I have had it grilled, smoked and even raw!! All for the sake of slaying the fat monster. AND....It is not cheap to eat healthy and clean. It’s actually much more affordable to eat dirty. Sometimes I think I miss eating dirty. I wanna eat real dirty! Saturday....that is the day to get down and eat dirty! Are you ready for some dirty eating??
My dear husband purchased some GREAT new work out gear for me so that I could get my work out in today. (He totally filled my “love-tank). Unfortunately, I am STILL wearing the same underwear I was wearing yesterday and that is really all I can think about. It is driving me crazy. And it is so so so very wrong. I have showered twice and I am still wearing the same underwear. I have purchased work out gear...and I AM STILL IN THE SAME UNDERWEAR. Why the heck didn’t I PURCHASE UNDERWEAR??? Somebody kill me please...put a bullet in my head...I want to dieeeee!! Okay, not really. I actually would just like some clean underwear!
In all the time I had today to think and reflect (about 3 minutes)....I have decided that I like training. And I may want to do it more than my first commitment of three months. However, it is important to me that my dear husband is on board and in full support of it. So, I asked him...”Honey, how would you feel about me training a little more hard core?”. And he simply replied, “Well, as long as you keep boobs, I am ok with it”. I actually can’t believe he said it. Actually....I can. (rolling eyes).
So, we are at my aunt's house tonight and I am having trouble blogging (hard to believe...I know!). I am totally distracted by my day old clothing...more specifically my underwear. But a dear friend of mine emailed me and asked if the Mr. was with me...and upon finding out that he is....she suggested that I do something else...you know...with him.... and I should use my “imagination”. That can only mean one thing......And since our bedroom door does not close all the way, we are at my Aunt’s house (right across the hall from her and my uncle) and the fact that I didn't pack anything including the "pill".....well....as much as Brad would love for some action.....it ain't gonna happen tonight! lol
And overnight dry cleaning actually may solve the clothing crisis but that means I would have to wait naked. And that would make the "little bit of action" part a lot more challenging for me and a lot less challenging for Brad. So, it’s day old underwear for me and a quiet night for Brad!
And here I am making a long story longer...again....here it goes...you’ve heard the all too familiar expression, “it’s not over until the fat lady sings”. Well, I am going to sing now. Off to Superstore for some panties and tuna. Good Lord...Over and out! And in the words of Truman, in case I don’t see ya...good afternoon, good evening and goodnight!
Andy :)
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Day 23
Somebody, quick, grab the defibrillator...Ready....and CLEAR!.....beeeeeeeep......one, two, three, four, five...breathe....beep...beep...beep...
Is my heart still beating? It can’t be. Aww crap. Yup...it is definitely beating...the varicose vein behind my right knee is still there. So, I know I am not dead. Because in Heaven, there will be NO varicose veins. And no hemorrhoids. And definitely no stretch marks.
Why all the drama you ask? Well, I weigh myself every Wednesday and Saturday. I thought I was going to get away without posting my weight last week, but of course, someone emailed me asking how much weight I have lost to date. Now, here is the truth. I have kept this little tiny detail a secret from you....ahh...here it is.... last Saturday, I went from 162lbs to 163lbs. Oh no....not again....DEFIBRILLATOR....PLEASE!
AHHHH! My trainer can’t figure out where the extra pound came from. And neither can I as I have followed the diet right down to the celery sticks. I am just going to believe that the pound is all the muscle that I am building. In fact, I know that all the work is paying off as I had to put on a belt today to keep my jeans up. So, maybe tomorrow morning the scale will hale good tidings of great joy. And if you see an obituary on my blog, you will know there were only bad tidings of great sorrow and the fat monster consumed me.
But I am not giving up!! I am right on track. And quitting now would be an utter shame. Head down. Eat clean. Work hard. And that is what I am doing. And that is what I will continue to do! I have beaten other things and I will beat this. If I can beat a drug addiction....oh crap...there...I’ve said it...it’s out....oh well....but if I can beat a drug addiction, then I can beat the fat monster. I know...“Shame, shame!”, shout the villagers. But think what you may.... Each one of us has a “kryptonite” and that one little weakness can bring down even the noblest of souls and even the most “super” of heros.
Besides, I am carefully designing my Fat Monster Slayer super hero suit. If I am going to be a super hero...then I must come dressed as one. Speaking of which... on the way home from the gym today, I slipped and glided all over the place. ICE, SNOW...ARGH! But as I turned the corner and into the driveway, I noticed our mail deliverer. He was sporting some pretty fancy ear muffs. I don’t think I have ever owned a pair of ear muffs. In fact, I think I am going to get me some and they will be a part of my super hero suit. Then I can be known as “Muffy, the fat monster slayer”. (I know...it’s totally original)...Saving one phat a$$... at a time....
Cheers!!
PS- Mary Mac’s Mother’s making Mary Mac Marry me tonight in Regina! And if I die on this highway today, please cry at my funeral. I want it to be really really sad. (Like weeping and tearing of clothing...really sad folks...that’s what I’m going for...and if you have to skype some peop’s in to add to the effect...I’m super kewl with that too...LOL). Th...th...th...th..that’s all folks!
Is my heart still beating? It can’t be. Aww crap. Yup...it is definitely beating...the varicose vein behind my right knee is still there. So, I know I am not dead. Because in Heaven, there will be NO varicose veins. And no hemorrhoids. And definitely no stretch marks.
Why all the drama you ask? Well, I weigh myself every Wednesday and Saturday. I thought I was going to get away without posting my weight last week, but of course, someone emailed me asking how much weight I have lost to date. Now, here is the truth. I have kept this little tiny detail a secret from you....ahh...here it is.... last Saturday, I went from 162lbs to 163lbs. Oh no....not again....DEFIBRILLATOR....PLEASE!
AHHHH! My trainer can’t figure out where the extra pound came from. And neither can I as I have followed the diet right down to the celery sticks. I am just going to believe that the pound is all the muscle that I am building. In fact, I know that all the work is paying off as I had to put on a belt today to keep my jeans up. So, maybe tomorrow morning the scale will hale good tidings of great joy. And if you see an obituary on my blog, you will know there were only bad tidings of great sorrow and the fat monster consumed me.
But I am not giving up!! I am right on track. And quitting now would be an utter shame. Head down. Eat clean. Work hard. And that is what I am doing. And that is what I will continue to do! I have beaten other things and I will beat this. If I can beat a drug addiction....oh crap...there...I’ve said it...it’s out....oh well....but if I can beat a drug addiction, then I can beat the fat monster. I know...“Shame, shame!”, shout the villagers. But think what you may.... Each one of us has a “kryptonite” and that one little weakness can bring down even the noblest of souls and even the most “super” of heros.
Besides, I am carefully designing my Fat Monster Slayer super hero suit. If I am going to be a super hero...then I must come dressed as one. Speaking of which... on the way home from the gym today, I slipped and glided all over the place. ICE, SNOW...ARGH! But as I turned the corner and into the driveway, I noticed our mail deliverer. He was sporting some pretty fancy ear muffs. I don’t think I have ever owned a pair of ear muffs. In fact, I think I am going to get me some and they will be a part of my super hero suit. Then I can be known as “Muffy, the fat monster slayer”. (I know...it’s totally original)...Saving one phat a$$... at a time....
Cheers!!
PS- Mary Mac’s Mother’s making Mary Mac Marry me tonight in Regina! And if I die on this highway today, please cry at my funeral. I want it to be really really sad. (Like weeping and tearing of clothing...really sad folks...that’s what I’m going for...and if you have to skype some peop’s in to add to the effect...I’m super kewl with that too...LOL). Th...th...th...th..that’s all folks!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Day 22
Day 22 -
In Bodyfit the treadmills go.
An unending stream of sweat does flow.
It marks the place that fat must die.
And sweets and junk, we must deny.
We are the chunky, the chubbies, the plump
We cry and fret at the size of our rump.
But we won't lose faith, we'll maintain our courage
Each morning we rise and embrace our weight-control porridge.
In pride, in sweat, in tears and shame
the fat monster we will most certainly tame
And our days of chubby will come to an end
and sleek, slender and hot will be our new friend.
Selah.
The gym was grrrreat today! My stomach feels like it's going to cave in and the jiggle from my thighs fell away somewhere between here and Central street. And, someone there told me that I looked grrrrreat. And well, that just made my whole day.
I also lost track of how much water I drank today. So, to be sure I have consumed enough, I have chugged a few extra Litres. At some point in my day I sneezed and a little tiny bit of pee came out. I don't actually think my bladder could be any fuller. But I was thankful for that extra pair of undies stashed in my bag. So, after changing, I chugged a diet pepsi. Gotta get the ‘ol bladder ready for more!! And I am really really happy because my man servant...Bradford has gone to fetch me more water. I think I will invest in a little bell so that I can ring for him when I need him. All I need is a quellazaire, some white gloves, some hawt red lipstick, a martini and a little dog named Fufu. And I am all set. "Brrrradforrrrd, (rolling r's), go fetch me my water".
It amazes me that women everywhere seem to have similar struggles. Almost every time I bump into someone and they ask me why I am eating from a baggie, they seem to really relate to my struggle. North American living is not supportive of a slender physique anymore. And since a major turning point in our society, (the takeover of the automatic washing machine)...we no longer are burning calories with wash boards and thus have lost our "washboard abs". Instead, we sit staring aimlessly past the reflection of our 24", lcd computer monitors with our budda bellies. All the while, sipping our double double's and munching on a cookie. Packing on the poundage is something we do without even trying. And it is definitely an epidemic. If I even look at a brownie (did I mention I LOVE brownies..oh god...do I love brownies), my butt seems to jiggle for a week. And I know I am not alone.
Food can be an addiction just like anything else. It is an obvious reality....our society is addicted to the "white stuff". No...not that white stuff...but the "white stuff" that has infiltrated our schools, pantries, grocery stores and the tight little fists of children. Refined sugar. It is a curse word in our house as one of us is diabetic and the other one of us is "fighting the fat monster". It has been proven that 100 years after white sugar has been introduced to a society, diabetes shows it's ugly head. Coincidence...I think not.
And so it is with great pride and confidence that I defy the "white stuff". I DEFY you sugar!! Taunt me no more, you foul creature. Return to the Abyss from whence you came!!
And in the words of DoDo....Yeah ba-bay!! Night Night.
In Bodyfit the treadmills go.
An unending stream of sweat does flow.
It marks the place that fat must die.
And sweets and junk, we must deny.
We are the chunky, the chubbies, the plump
We cry and fret at the size of our rump.
But we won't lose faith, we'll maintain our courage
Each morning we rise and embrace our weight-control porridge.
In pride, in sweat, in tears and shame
the fat monster we will most certainly tame
And our days of chubby will come to an end
and sleek, slender and hot will be our new friend.
Selah.
The gym was grrrreat today! My stomach feels like it's going to cave in and the jiggle from my thighs fell away somewhere between here and Central street. And, someone there told me that I looked grrrrreat. And well, that just made my whole day.
I also lost track of how much water I drank today. So, to be sure I have consumed enough, I have chugged a few extra Litres. At some point in my day I sneezed and a little tiny bit of pee came out. I don't actually think my bladder could be any fuller. But I was thankful for that extra pair of undies stashed in my bag. So, after changing, I chugged a diet pepsi. Gotta get the ‘ol bladder ready for more!! And I am really really happy because my man servant...Bradford has gone to fetch me more water. I think I will invest in a little bell so that I can ring for him when I need him. All I need is a quellazaire, some white gloves, some hawt red lipstick, a martini and a little dog named Fufu. And I am all set. "Brrrradforrrrd, (rolling r's), go fetch me my water".
It amazes me that women everywhere seem to have similar struggles. Almost every time I bump into someone and they ask me why I am eating from a baggie, they seem to really relate to my struggle. North American living is not supportive of a slender physique anymore. And since a major turning point in our society, (the takeover of the automatic washing machine)...we no longer are burning calories with wash boards and thus have lost our "washboard abs". Instead, we sit staring aimlessly past the reflection of our 24", lcd computer monitors with our budda bellies. All the while, sipping our double double's and munching on a cookie. Packing on the poundage is something we do without even trying. And it is definitely an epidemic. If I even look at a brownie (did I mention I LOVE brownies..oh god...do I love brownies), my butt seems to jiggle for a week. And I know I am not alone.
Food can be an addiction just like anything else. It is an obvious reality....our society is addicted to the "white stuff". No...not that white stuff...but the "white stuff" that has infiltrated our schools, pantries, grocery stores and the tight little fists of children. Refined sugar. It is a curse word in our house as one of us is diabetic and the other one of us is "fighting the fat monster". It has been proven that 100 years after white sugar has been introduced to a society, diabetes shows it's ugly head. Coincidence...I think not.
And so it is with great pride and confidence that I defy the "white stuff". I DEFY you sugar!! Taunt me no more, you foul creature. Return to the Abyss from whence you came!!
And in the words of DoDo....Yeah ba-bay!! Night Night.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Day 21
Back to the basics of eating clean!! And back to the gym. And back to feeling good. I arrived at the gym around 12:30pm this afternoon. In a hurry to get my clothes off, tanning lotion on, find goggles and place them on my head...I ended up dumping my entire gym bag everywhere. And dumping a gym bag is almost as dangerous as dumping a girl's purse. Why? Because all the same things are in there and well...it's just not a pretty picture. They only give me 3 minutes to prep for tanning. Just 3 quick minutes. That is not very much time and I often find myself almost out of breath by the time I get into the tanning booth. Once in the tanning booth I just stand there waiting....and you know...8 minutes doesn't seem like very long but for someone like me, it feels like an eternity. There is no mental stimulation in the tanning booth. Just lights to look at. That's it. Of course, I have to keep my chin up as to avoid the tan lines that form in the creases in my neck. So, for 8 long minutes, I read the warning sign...the one that says not to touch the lights...over and over and over again.
Something that should be relaxing and uncomplicated can be quite complicated. Why....because what do you do inside the tanning booth?? Nothing. You do nothing. Somebody please tell me...how do you do nothing? I want to learn. I want to learn how to do nothing. Today was extra complicated because after I got out of the tanning booth, (a painful 8 minutes of nothing), I was in a hurry to get dressed and I was putting my underwear back on....I misjudged with where I placed my foot and as I pulled up with my hands and down with my foot...well...rrrriiiiipppppp! And so it was a very drafty work out. Not the most comfortable one either... And!!!! One day of eating clean and poof!! no more back flaps. So, I'm thinking there is definitely a direct link between eating fat and then seeing it. Anyways.....
So, I must tell you what my two little angels did for me tonight. I was washing the dishes, tidying the kitchen...you know...some of the most glorious work that a mother does. As I washed, I heard the giggles of two little girls behind me and then some shuffling and then some "scurrying away". When I turned around, there was no one to be found except my 5lb Yorkie. Hanging from his collar was a carefully designed scroll. As I kneeled to untie the scroll from Bailey's neck, I could hear distant giggles. There on the scroll was my oldest daughter's (whom we call Edith Bunker), my youngest daughter's (whom we call J-bird) and our little yorkie's Christmas lists. It made my night. They are too funny and not a day goes by that they don't make me laugh. This Christmas list will be one that I will keep. They made a memory for me and I will hold it close to my heart. I always ask my girls if they know how much I love them. J-bird will tell me...yes, Mommy, you love me as much as the ocean is blue. And then she will tell me that she loves me as much as there are trees. (Hopefully, we save the trees...I would hate for her love to run out). My oldest daughter rolls her eyes at me and says....yes, Mom...you love me as much as the sky is blue. And then she tosses her hair and runs off. They truly are my angels and it is so important to me be healthy and be a good example. They are the motivation I need to keep on keeping on.....to train....to eat clean.... and be healthy.
Cheers!
Something that should be relaxing and uncomplicated can be quite complicated. Why....because what do you do inside the tanning booth?? Nothing. You do nothing. Somebody please tell me...how do you do nothing? I want to learn. I want to learn how to do nothing. Today was extra complicated because after I got out of the tanning booth, (a painful 8 minutes of nothing), I was in a hurry to get dressed and I was putting my underwear back on....I misjudged with where I placed my foot and as I pulled up with my hands and down with my foot...well...rrrriiiiipppppp! And so it was a very drafty work out. Not the most comfortable one either... And!!!! One day of eating clean and poof!! no more back flaps. So, I'm thinking there is definitely a direct link between eating fat and then seeing it. Anyways.....
So, I must tell you what my two little angels did for me tonight. I was washing the dishes, tidying the kitchen...you know...some of the most glorious work that a mother does. As I washed, I heard the giggles of two little girls behind me and then some shuffling and then some "scurrying away". When I turned around, there was no one to be found except my 5lb Yorkie. Hanging from his collar was a carefully designed scroll. As I kneeled to untie the scroll from Bailey's neck, I could hear distant giggles. There on the scroll was my oldest daughter's (whom we call Edith Bunker), my youngest daughter's (whom we call J-bird) and our little yorkie's Christmas lists. It made my night. They are too funny and not a day goes by that they don't make me laugh. This Christmas list will be one that I will keep. They made a memory for me and I will hold it close to my heart. I always ask my girls if they know how much I love them. J-bird will tell me...yes, Mommy, you love me as much as the ocean is blue. And then she will tell me that she loves me as much as there are trees. (Hopefully, we save the trees...I would hate for her love to run out). My oldest daughter rolls her eyes at me and says....yes, Mom...you love me as much as the sky is blue. And then she tosses her hair and runs off. They truly are my angels and it is so important to me be healthy and be a good example. They are the motivation I need to keep on keeping on.....to train....to eat clean.... and be healthy.
Cheers!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Cheat Day!! Sugar is the Debil!!
Well...here we are! It is cheat day and cheat day has been pretty good. Although, I have not indulged like I thought I would, I have still indulged. Ask me how I feel...come on...do it. That's right. I don't feel good. My trainer warned me this would happen. I feel tired and sick. I feel like there is a brick in my stomach. I had lunch hours ago and I am not hungry...not one bit. I had a burger and fries and it was soooo good. There is nothing like a homemade burger! That's right folks...I'm country. Me and red meat is like tea in a teacup, like wine in a crystal wine glass, like the cream in my coffee, like bread and butter. We go together. And we like each other very much. Or at least I thought we liked each other. (I just threw up in my mouth...way too much food). Food hangover...here we come!
I am going to be really honest here and tell you that I am actually really looking forward to tomorrow as eating clean makes me feel good. And even if there were no benefits like losing weight...I would still eat clean. Was the brownie worth it? You are darn right it's worth it! And since I am supposed to get a cheat day once per week...as long as I can lose the weight I gain by the following Wednesday...there is no need to overindulge. Keep your fingers crossed!! And your toes!!
It's funny how on days that I don't eat healthy...I actually feel a lot more....chunky! For example, today after I ate my brownie, I went up and showered. Then I proceeded to get dressed. As I glanced over my shoulder, my eye caught something in the reflection of the mirror. It was something ginormous!!! And in my shock, my knees almost buckled causing me to lose my balance and take another look. Could it be??? OH DEAR GOD!!! I have BACK FAT!!! It's like two little wings of fat right below my shoulder blades. And maybe a little to the side. Back fat?!! Just sitting there...taunting me with it's presence. How could this happen to me? I thought you got back fat when you were...you know...more mature in years. NOT when you are 32!! It's not like I can exercise my shoulder blades in order to eliminate the chubby little flaps of skin that hang there in such a horrible manner. Back fat....it is the curse of old age. It is the roll of skin that is pushed outward by your bra. Oh you know what I'm talking about. You know those tightly fitted tops...that are cute and flirty? Well, say goodbye to them if you have back fat. Because it's no longer cute and flirty when your chubby little wings are petruding and showing through your snug little top. It's disgusting and it screams....MIDLIFE CRISIS! OMG! Am I in midlife crisis? I am! I am definitely in midlife crisis!! Next thing you know, I will be riding a motor bike and get a tattoo!!!
Clearly, the brownie has hit my blood sugar and is now causing my brain to short circuit. Lesson learned!! Sugar means crazy. Sugar means fat! And as the water boy's mamma would say........Sugar is the debil!!!!
I am going to be really honest here and tell you that I am actually really looking forward to tomorrow as eating clean makes me feel good. And even if there were no benefits like losing weight...I would still eat clean. Was the brownie worth it? You are darn right it's worth it! And since I am supposed to get a cheat day once per week...as long as I can lose the weight I gain by the following Wednesday...there is no need to overindulge. Keep your fingers crossed!! And your toes!!
It's funny how on days that I don't eat healthy...I actually feel a lot more....chunky! For example, today after I ate my brownie, I went up and showered. Then I proceeded to get dressed. As I glanced over my shoulder, my eye caught something in the reflection of the mirror. It was something ginormous!!! And in my shock, my knees almost buckled causing me to lose my balance and take another look. Could it be??? OH DEAR GOD!!! I have BACK FAT!!! It's like two little wings of fat right below my shoulder blades. And maybe a little to the side. Back fat?!! Just sitting there...taunting me with it's presence. How could this happen to me? I thought you got back fat when you were...you know...more mature in years. NOT when you are 32!! It's not like I can exercise my shoulder blades in order to eliminate the chubby little flaps of skin that hang there in such a horrible manner. Back fat....it is the curse of old age. It is the roll of skin that is pushed outward by your bra. Oh you know what I'm talking about. You know those tightly fitted tops...that are cute and flirty? Well, say goodbye to them if you have back fat. Because it's no longer cute and flirty when your chubby little wings are petruding and showing through your snug little top. It's disgusting and it screams....MIDLIFE CRISIS! OMG! Am I in midlife crisis? I am! I am definitely in midlife crisis!! Next thing you know, I will be riding a motor bike and get a tattoo!!!
Clearly, the brownie has hit my blood sugar and is now causing my brain to short circuit. Lesson learned!! Sugar means crazy. Sugar means fat! And as the water boy's mamma would say........Sugar is the debil!!!!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Day 19
Yo, dawgs, wassup foos? Dis is da blog to learnin all bout me and ma chubby bod. Don't be tryin to be a fat slaya, cause you ain't gonna be da real deal, G. You just gots to learn bout your own bod and gots to respect it. Da gym gonna be da shiznit today! Fo Sho, Aiight? Just gimme wat ya got fo realz! Keep it fresh. Are you pickin' up what I'm layin' down sista?
Today is cardio day!!! Yeah ba-bay!! I will run and run some more. I am going to "pop a cap" into you chunky monkey. Das right....you got it, holyfield! (and so more thoughts from the deep recesses of my mind....this is where you can boldly go where no man has gone before.) cheat day. cheat day. cheat day. cheat day. (I cannot wait for tomorrow). Wooooooooo! (very deep. I know)
HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!!!!
Until tomorrow, farewell bloggosphere!
Today is cardio day!!! Yeah ba-bay!! I will run and run some more. I am going to "pop a cap" into you chunky monkey. Das right....you got it, holyfield! (and so more thoughts from the deep recesses of my mind....this is where you can boldly go where no man has gone before.) cheat day. cheat day. cheat day. cheat day. (I cannot wait for tomorrow). Wooooooooo! (very deep. I know)
HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!!!!
Until tomorrow, farewell bloggosphere!
PS-
When I reach my goal, I will be sending my before and after pictures to my followers. Thank you followers as your support really helps me on my journey to slay the fat monster.
Day 18
Day 18 was a grand day! I used a whole box of Radox muscle soak in the bath tub. Yes, that's right....the whole box. So, instead of posting last night....I was in the tub....trying to soothe my muscles.
I rushed at the gym. I went as fast as my muscles would let me so that I could attend the SWER Broadband Presentation. This is a fine example of my eating plan making things a little more complicated. I really should have pre-ordered my food. I realized that after the server muttered to herself. Not to me of course, but loud enough for me to hear that I should have pre-ordered. Every bit of the meal was covered in cream...the meat, the lentils and the carrots drizzled in butter. But because this was not the type of event that I could be eating out of a baggie that I pulled from my purse, I requested my meat with no cream. And because at the social that was held for the strategic team earlier, I ate my turkey slices and my veggies from a baggie while my colleagues enjoyed wine and cheese. I think Joanne even got a picture because the CEO saw me eating from my purse and quickly inquired, "Andrea, what the heck are you doing? There's food here you know. You didn't have to bring you own!". See dear trainer...I am following the rules.
As the evening progressed, I guzzled my water. Glass after glass, not thinking that I would have to get up not once, but four times through out the evening to pee. It was the last trip to the potty that got interesting. As I finished up in the bathroom, I found myself in the lobby of the Sky Centre. It was there...that it happened. I realized my underwear was twisted. Looking around and over my shoulder, there was no one in sight. So, I decided to adjust right there in the lobby. So, I reached down and started adjusting. Gracefully, I adjusted them and comfort once again returned. I laughed to myself as I just made adjustments to my underwear in the middle of a public lobby with out anyone seeing me do it. And then I remembered as I began to walk towards that door of the auditorium, there are camera's everywhere in the Casino. So, I glanced up and sure enough....there was the all-seeing eye. I wonder who witnessed my little "adjustment". What poor soul got to watch in real time...me with my hands down my pants adjusting my underwear. So, I waived to the camera, smiled sheepishly and returned to my seat. It is definitely a night to remember.
Tomorrow is weigh day. Tomorrow is rest day. And I am looking forward to both. I think.
Cheers!!
I rushed at the gym. I went as fast as my muscles would let me so that I could attend the SWER Broadband Presentation. This is a fine example of my eating plan making things a little more complicated. I really should have pre-ordered my food. I realized that after the server muttered to herself. Not to me of course, but loud enough for me to hear that I should have pre-ordered. Every bit of the meal was covered in cream...the meat, the lentils and the carrots drizzled in butter. But because this was not the type of event that I could be eating out of a baggie that I pulled from my purse, I requested my meat with no cream. And because at the social that was held for the strategic team earlier, I ate my turkey slices and my veggies from a baggie while my colleagues enjoyed wine and cheese. I think Joanne even got a picture because the CEO saw me eating from my purse and quickly inquired, "Andrea, what the heck are you doing? There's food here you know. You didn't have to bring you own!". See dear trainer...I am following the rules.
As the evening progressed, I guzzled my water. Glass after glass, not thinking that I would have to get up not once, but four times through out the evening to pee. It was the last trip to the potty that got interesting. As I finished up in the bathroom, I found myself in the lobby of the Sky Centre. It was there...that it happened. I realized my underwear was twisted. Looking around and over my shoulder, there was no one in sight. So, I decided to adjust right there in the lobby. So, I reached down and started adjusting. Gracefully, I adjusted them and comfort once again returned. I laughed to myself as I just made adjustments to my underwear in the middle of a public lobby with out anyone seeing me do it. And then I remembered as I began to walk towards that door of the auditorium, there are camera's everywhere in the Casino. So, I glanced up and sure enough....there was the all-seeing eye. I wonder who witnessed my little "adjustment". What poor soul got to watch in real time...me with my hands down my pants adjusting my underwear. So, I waived to the camera, smiled sheepishly and returned to my seat. It is definitely a night to remember.
Tomorrow is weigh day. Tomorrow is rest day. And I am looking forward to both. I think.
Cheers!!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Day 17
Okay....are you ready for it....here it comes...I am down to 162 lbs! Wooooo!!
Today is cardio day. I ran and walked for 30 minutes and did the ever so uncomfortable core exercises that caused the muscles in my stomach to cry out for relief. I told them to be quiet and to get the job done. They protested more...but I showed them who was boss!!
I have been trying to get to the gym in the mornings as it seems a little easier in the morning. I'm not sure why that is but so far it is working well. The only draw back is that the gym is really busy in the morning and I seem to sweat incessantly. I am not exaggerating...is this excessive sweating a good sign? If you come to the gym, you will know which one I am...I am the one that has the pool of water at her feet! Ewwwww!
Something that I realized today is that working out seems to have given me an incredible resilience to stress. It is really hard to describe, but things that would normally have me in the "cuckoo house" are not affecting me at that level any more. I am confident that it is a result of buffeting my body day in and day out at the gym. It is worth it and even though I have only lost 3 lbs, my trainer tells me I am right on track and doing well. This is a lifestyle change...not a "quick fix". I want long lasting results and I want my body to be healthy. A healthy body, a healthy mind and healthy relationships. It's taking a lot of commitment and even though it feels like everything is "shaking", I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am winning this fight.
Do you smell that? That is the smell of metamorphosis.....and of course a little bit of sweat and the ever so responsive Degree deodorant! (I actually don't use that kind of deodorant as it sort of announces to the world that I am sweating). But if you want people to know you are sweating....I highly recommend it.
My body hurts but my heart feels good!!! AND I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO CHEAT DAY!!!
On a side note, today I am meditating on love - unconditional love vs. conditional love. It's heavy stuff...but it is so goooood!
Cheers!
Andrea :)
Today is cardio day. I ran and walked for 30 minutes and did the ever so uncomfortable core exercises that caused the muscles in my stomach to cry out for relief. I told them to be quiet and to get the job done. They protested more...but I showed them who was boss!!
I have been trying to get to the gym in the mornings as it seems a little easier in the morning. I'm not sure why that is but so far it is working well. The only draw back is that the gym is really busy in the morning and I seem to sweat incessantly. I am not exaggerating...is this excessive sweating a good sign? If you come to the gym, you will know which one I am...I am the one that has the pool of water at her feet! Ewwwww!
Something that I realized today is that working out seems to have given me an incredible resilience to stress. It is really hard to describe, but things that would normally have me in the "cuckoo house" are not affecting me at that level any more. I am confident that it is a result of buffeting my body day in and day out at the gym. It is worth it and even though I have only lost 3 lbs, my trainer tells me I am right on track and doing well. This is a lifestyle change...not a "quick fix". I want long lasting results and I want my body to be healthy. A healthy body, a healthy mind and healthy relationships. It's taking a lot of commitment and even though it feels like everything is "shaking", I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am winning this fight.
Do you smell that? That is the smell of metamorphosis.....and of course a little bit of sweat and the ever so responsive Degree deodorant! (I actually don't use that kind of deodorant as it sort of announces to the world that I am sweating). But if you want people to know you are sweating....I highly recommend it.
My body hurts but my heart feels good!!! AND I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO CHEAT DAY!!!
On a side note, today I am meditating on love - unconditional love vs. conditional love. It's heavy stuff...but it is so goooood!
Cheers!
Andrea :)
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
PS-Day 16
PS- On leg day, I would highly recommend that you not wear your heels, down your stairs with cuffed pants. I would also recommend that you not catch your heel in the cuff of your pants, thus tripping, stumbling and awkwardly landing at the bottom of the stairs while carrying your lap top and water bottle. And because your laptop is clearly worth more than you...save it at all costs. Just a little tip for you...for no particular reason. :D
Day 16
Only 5 more days and it's CHEAT day. Woooooooo!!! Spaghettie legs today....but I keep reminding myself that it is worth it. It's worth it...right?
I have completed my work out and I am now inhaling my cottage cheese, rice cakes and an orange. And oh...man...does it taste good. Since food no longer has a party in my mouth, my taste buds seem to have adjusted to my new way of eating. And since food no longer is there to comfort me, I have had to find non-traditional methods to comfort myself. Now, I retreat to the bathtub or to my "secret place" with a book and a blanket. Or I call a friend and talk to them. Wow...what is the world coming to? I am really liking the non-traditional aspects of comforting myself. And at this stage of the game, I thank God for my friends and my support group. I do however, miss seeking comfort in chocolate, french fries, ice cream and bread....oh bread...how I long for thee. Even though I miss my "comfort food", I do not miss how that kind of eating makes me feel. I am getting a little wiggy now because I miss chocolate and I am looking forward to some good old fashioned junk food. Be fore warned that there is going to be a big party in my mouth on cheat day. Look out intestinal tract, get ready, because you are going to have your work cut out for you!!
Lately, I have been tanning after my workouts. No...not to be all brown and beau-dacious. But because naturally, if I don't tan, I am often mistaken for a corpse. And since Halloween is just around the corner, I want to make it very obvious that I am not the living dead. I actually glow in the dark if I don't tan and have had numerous complaints about the blinding light that I reflect. And since my husband tells me he does not require a night light anymore nor does he "feel like a man" while wearing a lacy night blind, I figure I can do him a favor and tone down my natural glow. Remember 'Glow Worms'...you squeeze them and they light up...well...that's me without a tan. Besides, there are many benefits to tanning like vitamin D and relaxation. And no...I will not get cancer from it.
And so now, I am going to get ready for a luncheon (that I cannot eat at) and then get groceries and then I am going to come to my "secret place" and write. Oh yes, and I mustn't forget to drink my water. I have only had 1 Litre of water today and I need to drink 3 more. I am already behind....ah!
To my fellow Chunkies....be strong and courageous today...find comfort in your friends and in rest today!! <3
I have completed my work out and I am now inhaling my cottage cheese, rice cakes and an orange. And oh...man...does it taste good. Since food no longer has a party in my mouth, my taste buds seem to have adjusted to my new way of eating. And since food no longer is there to comfort me, I have had to find non-traditional methods to comfort myself. Now, I retreat to the bathtub or to my "secret place" with a book and a blanket. Or I call a friend and talk to them. Wow...what is the world coming to? I am really liking the non-traditional aspects of comforting myself. And at this stage of the game, I thank God for my friends and my support group. I do however, miss seeking comfort in chocolate, french fries, ice cream and bread....oh bread...how I long for thee. Even though I miss my "comfort food", I do not miss how that kind of eating makes me feel. I am getting a little wiggy now because I miss chocolate and I am looking forward to some good old fashioned junk food. Be fore warned that there is going to be a big party in my mouth on cheat day. Look out intestinal tract, get ready, because you are going to have your work cut out for you!!
Lately, I have been tanning after my workouts. No...not to be all brown and beau-dacious. But because naturally, if I don't tan, I am often mistaken for a corpse. And since Halloween is just around the corner, I want to make it very obvious that I am not the living dead. I actually glow in the dark if I don't tan and have had numerous complaints about the blinding light that I reflect. And since my husband tells me he does not require a night light anymore nor does he "feel like a man" while wearing a lacy night blind, I figure I can do him a favor and tone down my natural glow. Remember 'Glow Worms'...you squeeze them and they light up...well...that's me without a tan. Besides, there are many benefits to tanning like vitamin D and relaxation. And no...I will not get cancer from it.
And so now, I am going to get ready for a luncheon (that I cannot eat at) and then get groceries and then I am going to come to my "secret place" and write. Oh yes, and I mustn't forget to drink my water. I have only had 1 Litre of water today and I need to drink 3 more. I am already behind....ah!
To my fellow Chunkies....be strong and courageous today...find comfort in your friends and in rest today!! <3
Monday, October 18, 2010
Day 15
Yesterday was rest day and rest is what I did....well...almost all day. With the Rider's losing their game yesterday, our house was filled with an exceedingly melodramatic sadness that lagged on into the wee hours of the night. So, I prepped meals, went to church and chatted with a friend. I think I almost missed the gym....like...I almost wanted to stop by just to say hi. Weird. It's almost habit forming...hmmm. Well, one thing is for sure, it is not like Cheers as nobody shouts my name when I walk in. At least not yet. Heck, I would be happy if they shouted Norm!
Yesterday, I mentioned to my trainer that I am not as "regular" as I once was. I typically visit the white throne once or twice a day. Since I have been eating so clean...well, let's just say that I haven't frequented the throne quite as often. My trainer explained it to me this way....and these are her words......
"Look at it this way - having a BM is getting rid of waste, there is not a lot of waste on this diet plan, and your body is using all of the nutrients to repair the damage you are doing in the gym. It's like if you feed a dog cheap/shit dog food - it will shit up a storm all day long. Feed it good quality dog food and he might shit once per day. Make sense? Sorry for the crude analogy."
After reading her words, I couldn't help but laugh. Oh yes, I actually LOL'd. And if I am really honest I could throw in a couple more consonants. Although a very accurate analogy, it was freaking hilarious to read such comments. Health care professionals are always so casual about discussing various functions of the body. Don't get me wrong...I respect them and a big high five to them for what they do. I am however, so very very thankful that my clients have their clothes on and I don't have to wipe their bum. To all the healthcare workers in the world...I bow to your superior strength of stomach.
On another note, I mentioned to my trainer that I am usually starving after I work out. She then explained to me that I could feel free to "cluster" feed around my gym times. *Cluster feed*...AHH!....the last time I thought about cluster feed was when I was nursing my youngest daughter. I never thought I would cluster feed as a 32 year old woman. There is just something wrong with that thought. What can I say...I'm visual and my vision is not a nice picture. Ya...I think I just threw up in my mouth.
With all that said and done....the most amazing thing that happened today is that my husband said, "your butt looks good". And after almost 12 years of marriage...that is music to my ears baby! That alone has made it all worth it. Not so eloquent but who cares...he said it. That's all that matters.
And so tomorrow...we live to play another day...... :) Happy chunky monkey slaying!!
Yesterday, I mentioned to my trainer that I am not as "regular" as I once was. I typically visit the white throne once or twice a day. Since I have been eating so clean...well, let's just say that I haven't frequented the throne quite as often. My trainer explained it to me this way....and these are her words......
"Look at it this way - having a BM is getting rid of waste, there is not a lot of waste on this diet plan, and your body is using all of the nutrients to repair the damage you are doing in the gym. It's like if you feed a dog cheap/shit dog food - it will shit up a storm all day long. Feed it good quality dog food and he might shit once per day. Make sense? Sorry for the crude analogy."
After reading her words, I couldn't help but laugh. Oh yes, I actually LOL'd. And if I am really honest I could throw in a couple more consonants. Although a very accurate analogy, it was freaking hilarious to read such comments. Health care professionals are always so casual about discussing various functions of the body. Don't get me wrong...I respect them and a big high five to them for what they do. I am however, so very very thankful that my clients have their clothes on and I don't have to wipe their bum. To all the healthcare workers in the world...I bow to your superior strength of stomach.
On another note, I mentioned to my trainer that I am usually starving after I work out. She then explained to me that I could feel free to "cluster" feed around my gym times. *Cluster feed*...AHH!....the last time I thought about cluster feed was when I was nursing my youngest daughter. I never thought I would cluster feed as a 32 year old woman. There is just something wrong with that thought. What can I say...I'm visual and my vision is not a nice picture. Ya...I think I just threw up in my mouth.
With all that said and done....the most amazing thing that happened today is that my husband said, "your butt looks good". And after almost 12 years of marriage...that is music to my ears baby! That alone has made it all worth it. Not so eloquent but who cares...he said it. That's all that matters.
And so tomorrow...we live to play another day...... :) Happy chunky monkey slaying!!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
October 16, 2010: Day 13
Whether you have had a baby or not, I am sure you can all relate to "baby belly". That baby belly being the result of a human baby or the more commonly known....food baby. Oh you all know what I'm talking about. That little bit of extra that just seems to bulge over the top of your jeans. For me, I have suffered from baby belly since my first pregnancy and have noticed a considerable difference since my third pregnancy. It's all down hill after any kind of baby is carried in the bosom. Whether it be the food baby or the human baby, the damage is the same. Do I blame the fruit of my ovaries? Of course not! I could not blame my two precious angels for something I know was a man's fault. I blame the person who planted the seed which bore forth the fruit that stretched my stomach and skin to the absolute limits of it's elasticity.
Before I started training, I could literally grab two handfuls of my baby belly and squish it together making it look like...well, just use your imagination. If I really wanted to be creative, I could turn my baby belly into a puppet and make it talk. It really is the most attractive thing you can do and is sure to grab the attention of the opposite sex. I highly recommend it. (snicker) After it has been stretched and pulled by the developing stages of a growing fetus, my skin has just never been the same......that is.....UNTIL NOW. I have noticed a considerable difference thanks to the incessant, unending, perpetual, continual, fervent, effectual, unceasing core exercises that I am forced to do every single day. Oh and I LOVE them! These core exercises have given me the power from which I have subjugated the ever so horrible....baby belly. (I have not arrived but I am certainly on my way). And so I declare this day....The Day of the Belly Buster. I am quite serious. I have put it in my calendar and programmed it to remind me every year that on this day, I conquered the belly that has defied every single pair of jeans that has graced this diva-formed body. And I will celebrate that I actually do have abdominal muscles....I know you are in there...you can't hide..........show yourselves!! They're going to have find someone else to play Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife at this year's white trash party! This body is SO beyond that!!
Bonsoir bloggosphere!!
Before I started training, I could literally grab two handfuls of my baby belly and squish it together making it look like...well, just use your imagination. If I really wanted to be creative, I could turn my baby belly into a puppet and make it talk. It really is the most attractive thing you can do and is sure to grab the attention of the opposite sex. I highly recommend it. (snicker) After it has been stretched and pulled by the developing stages of a growing fetus, my skin has just never been the same......that is.....UNTIL NOW. I have noticed a considerable difference thanks to the incessant, unending, perpetual, continual, fervent, effectual, unceasing core exercises that I am forced to do every single day. Oh and I LOVE them! These core exercises have given me the power from which I have subjugated the ever so horrible....baby belly. (I have not arrived but I am certainly on my way). And so I declare this day....The Day of the Belly Buster. I am quite serious. I have put it in my calendar and programmed it to remind me every year that on this day, I conquered the belly that has defied every single pair of jeans that has graced this diva-formed body. And I will celebrate that I actually do have abdominal muscles....I know you are in there...you can't hide..........show yourselves!! They're going to have find someone else to play Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife at this year's white trash party! This body is SO beyond that!!
Bonsoir bloggosphere!!
Friday, October 15, 2010
October 15, 2010: Day 12
Two words to describe today: verbal diarrhea. I admit, there are elements of the ridiculous about me. One of them being that my mouth seems to run away with itself. And yes, I would love a nice big piece of chocolate cheesecake. I actually don't like cheese cake but something about today and the memory of the Golden Girls makes me think I should meet my besties in the kitchen at midnight and indulge in some cheesecake. Fortunately, not one of us is over the ripe old age of 60 yet but I think it is time for us to meet in the kitchen and hash through some things. (Not that kind of hash)
Ah yes the kitchen, a room that once represented the "role" of the woman is now the place that represents the "rolls" of the woman. We seem to seek comfort there. Let me rephrase that...the Chunky Monkey seeks comfort there. But no comfort can be found in grazing the pantry, scanning the refrigerator or staring...literally staring at the chocolate ice cream that will make all our problems go away. Let's not take it too far...it will make us feel better....ah but for a moment. And then when the brutal truth of the scale is revealed to us, the blinders fall from our eyes and we again are jerked back into reality. Reality. It can really hurt when we know the truth. The truth is a double edged sword...it does eventually frees us, but not until it has cut away every shadow that haunts us. My shadow seems to be a gigantic Timbit....creeping in the darkness.......calling my name........sometimes it calls to me in the midnight hour....
Why is it the gym never calls to me in the midnight hour? Why do we not fantasize over working out like we do about chocolate? And right at this moment, I am watching my husband consume pizza. The smell of it has caused a physiological reaction in my body. Salivating...I am. But I will not bow my knee to it..................I will not give in. Giving in to pizza now, would be like submitting to the "dark side of the force". What would Master Yoda say about that?! "There is much hunger in her. A glutton she is. To the refrigerator, send her".
To my fellow chunkies....may the force be with you.
Ah yes the kitchen, a room that once represented the "role" of the woman is now the place that represents the "rolls" of the woman. We seem to seek comfort there. Let me rephrase that...the Chunky Monkey seeks comfort there. But no comfort can be found in grazing the pantry, scanning the refrigerator or staring...literally staring at the chocolate ice cream that will make all our problems go away. Let's not take it too far...it will make us feel better....ah but for a moment. And then when the brutal truth of the scale is revealed to us, the blinders fall from our eyes and we again are jerked back into reality. Reality. It can really hurt when we know the truth. The truth is a double edged sword...it does eventually frees us, but not until it has cut away every shadow that haunts us. My shadow seems to be a gigantic Timbit....creeping in the darkness.......calling my name........sometimes it calls to me in the midnight hour....
Why is it the gym never calls to me in the midnight hour? Why do we not fantasize over working out like we do about chocolate? And right at this moment, I am watching my husband consume pizza. The smell of it has caused a physiological reaction in my body. Salivating...I am. But I will not bow my knee to it..................I will not give in. Giving in to pizza now, would be like submitting to the "dark side of the force". What would Master Yoda say about that?! "There is much hunger in her. A glutton she is. To the refrigerator, send her".
To my fellow chunkies....may the force be with you.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
October 14, 2010: Day 11
Weigh Day......Are you ready for it? Here it is....163lbs. So, I am just a little bit closer to Diva status. Wooooo!!!
Today, an incredible urge for sugar has saturated my entire being. I want it. I need it. I crave it. One would almost assume that I am a sugar addict. No, that's not the case. I am addicted to plenty of other things. With that said, I am tired. I am drained. And thus, my body and emotions are craving a little pick me up. But I will not give in to the constant cries of the fat monster. Today, I opened up a can of whoop a#$ on it at the gym. I beat my body into submission. And in my soul, my heart screamed...I defy you fat monster. Die!! And I say to you Fat Monster...ARE YOU READY FOR A WAR? Lower your flags Fat Monster and march straight back to the bowels of which you came from. Stop at every woman and beg forgiveness for hundreds of years of fat, humiliation, addiction and disease. Do it and I may let you live. Do it not and every last ounce of you, will die.
Maybe a wee bit dramatic. I am just giving myself a pep talk. Anyone have a cookie?
Andrea :)
Today, an incredible urge for sugar has saturated my entire being. I want it. I need it. I crave it. One would almost assume that I am a sugar addict. No, that's not the case. I am addicted to plenty of other things. With that said, I am tired. I am drained. And thus, my body and emotions are craving a little pick me up. But I will not give in to the constant cries of the fat monster. Today, I opened up a can of whoop a#$ on it at the gym. I beat my body into submission. And in my soul, my heart screamed...I defy you fat monster. Die!! And I say to you Fat Monster...ARE YOU READY FOR A WAR? Lower your flags Fat Monster and march straight back to the bowels of which you came from. Stop at every woman and beg forgiveness for hundreds of years of fat, humiliation, addiction and disease. Do it and I may let you live. Do it not and every last ounce of you, will die.
Maybe a wee bit dramatic. I am just giving myself a pep talk. Anyone have a cookie?
Andrea :)
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
October 13, 2010: Day 10
Training, eating clean and being healthy is definitely extra challenging when being on the road. I spent a couple of days in Regina and a couple in Edmonton. I must admit that I had a really really good time. With the exception of not eating at exactly the right time and having trouble fitting in my 5 meals/day, I did manage to get every work out in. It was nice being in another city and experience and different gym, different people and embark on new adventures. And I am already half way through this week and that much closer to my cheat day.
I heard something very shocking today...there is a company that is now selling tape worms to women so that they can experience rapid weight loss. That's right folks, there are women in the world that are eating tape worms to lose weight. Don't forget to take into consideration that in order for a tape worm to eat and thrive in your body, you must ingest it while it is ALIVE! I also heard that there are doctor's who will apply a patch on your tongue. Every time you eat, you will feel pain because of the patch on your tongue and thus be discouraged to eat. This is completely outrageous to me!! Of course, last night at a networking event full of professionals, a young beautiful woman said this to me, "Andrea, I would rather place my bare foot in human feces than step on a slug with my running shoes". That is even MORE outrageous to me. Her phobia of slugs is so intense that she would rather place her bare toes in human dung than kill a slug with shoes?! Just like some women are so tired of being overweight they are willing to eat a live worm. AHHHH!!! I just realized now that I am SO thankful for this plan I am on. Thank you GOD that I am not one of those women who step in poo and eat worms. I embrace my eating plan and training program. Thank you dear trainer!! I love you!
AS :)
I heard something very shocking today...there is a company that is now selling tape worms to women so that they can experience rapid weight loss. That's right folks, there are women in the world that are eating tape worms to lose weight. Don't forget to take into consideration that in order for a tape worm to eat and thrive in your body, you must ingest it while it is ALIVE! I also heard that there are doctor's who will apply a patch on your tongue. Every time you eat, you will feel pain because of the patch on your tongue and thus be discouraged to eat. This is completely outrageous to me!! Of course, last night at a networking event full of professionals, a young beautiful woman said this to me, "Andrea, I would rather place my bare foot in human feces than step on a slug with my running shoes". That is even MORE outrageous to me. Her phobia of slugs is so intense that she would rather place her bare toes in human dung than kill a slug with shoes?! Just like some women are so tired of being overweight they are willing to eat a live worm. AHHHH!!! I just realized now that I am SO thankful for this plan I am on. Thank you GOD that I am not one of those women who step in poo and eat worms. I embrace my eating plan and training program. Thank you dear trainer!! I love you!
AS :)
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Day 8 & 9: Ocotbor 12, 2010
The great turkey sacrifice is over. And I am relieved. Thanksgiving is a time of year when it is so easy to pack on those few extra pounds. And those few extra pounds seem to stick....for the rest of our lives. This year was different. I overcame and conquered the fat monster.....I opted out of the over indulgence of the great turkey feast, stayed away from the pie and avoided the dressing...and I feel great!
Right now, I am in Edmonton on business. No, it's not Business Time - Flight of the Concord's style. It's regular business. No, not the kind you do in the bathroom. You know, the income producing kind of business. Get your minds out of the gutter!!! I think I need to get out more!!
Anyways, yesterday morning in the Regina Airport, I went to use the washroom before I got on the plane. I have a huge issue with airplane bathrooms because they are small and dirty. I always seem to watch a heavier person, squish themselves into the bathroom. Knowing that those bathrooms are so small, I also realize that every part of their body has brushed against every part of the the bathroom. And since I am a passionate germaphobe, I can't even imagine myself using the dirty, little bathroom. Honestly, why do the engineers make those bathrooms so small. And what the heck is the point of hand sanitizer when there are germs crawling everywhere. But that is all beside the point. At the Regina airport, in the women's bathroom, an older lady stood outside of a stall. She just stood there, staring in. When she saw me, she started to tell me how disgusting people are. I, of course, agreed. I didn't look in the stall that she was looking in but I could sure smell the sour remnants of vomit. As I hovered over the toilet to pee, she continued to talk to me. Isn't there an unwritten rule about not talking to people while they are doing there business. It was awkward. And uncomfortable. The woman began to describe how the vomit was all over the walls and no where near the toilet. She then proceeded to tell me everyone of her horror stories from all her years of experience cleaning bathrooms. This is not something I want to hear at 7:30 a.m. And here is where it get's interesting...for me anyways. Because I am consuming so much water every single day...I had to pee three times before I got on my plane. And every single time I went into the bathroom....that's right....the cleaning lady was there to share her stories with me. She told me things that I cannot even repeat as I was horrified at what I heard. Why me? Why now? Why do all the crazies run to me with their crazy stories and odd social behavior. I am starting wonder if I am a crazy magnet.
Nonetheless, I arrived safely at my hotel. A friend of mine picked me up at the airport. I almost missed her as my plane was early and that's right....I had to pee! The fitness centre here at the Radisson is great and I am loving every minute of it. Yesterday, was a cardio day. Today, legs and shoulders. My routine was so much easier this time. Now with that said, my trainer will read this and increase the weight for next week. AHH! Spaghetti legs...here we come.
In all honesty, I feel amazing. So good!! And I am happy I made this choice to change my life and I am happy that my body is starting to feel normal again....that is if I can define what normal is. The only problem is that my core exercises have made my stomach very sorry....just sitting up in bed is work. Why am I doing this again????
AS :)
Right now, I am in Edmonton on business. No, it's not Business Time - Flight of the Concord's style. It's regular business. No, not the kind you do in the bathroom. You know, the income producing kind of business. Get your minds out of the gutter!!! I think I need to get out more!!
Anyways, yesterday morning in the Regina Airport, I went to use the washroom before I got on the plane. I have a huge issue with airplane bathrooms because they are small and dirty. I always seem to watch a heavier person, squish themselves into the bathroom. Knowing that those bathrooms are so small, I also realize that every part of their body has brushed against every part of the the bathroom. And since I am a passionate germaphobe, I can't even imagine myself using the dirty, little bathroom. Honestly, why do the engineers make those bathrooms so small. And what the heck is the point of hand sanitizer when there are germs crawling everywhere. But that is all beside the point. At the Regina airport, in the women's bathroom, an older lady stood outside of a stall. She just stood there, staring in. When she saw me, she started to tell me how disgusting people are. I, of course, agreed. I didn't look in the stall that she was looking in but I could sure smell the sour remnants of vomit. As I hovered over the toilet to pee, she continued to talk to me. Isn't there an unwritten rule about not talking to people while they are doing there business. It was awkward. And uncomfortable. The woman began to describe how the vomit was all over the walls and no where near the toilet. She then proceeded to tell me everyone of her horror stories from all her years of experience cleaning bathrooms. This is not something I want to hear at 7:30 a.m. And here is where it get's interesting...for me anyways. Because I am consuming so much water every single day...I had to pee three times before I got on my plane. And every single time I went into the bathroom....that's right....the cleaning lady was there to share her stories with me. She told me things that I cannot even repeat as I was horrified at what I heard. Why me? Why now? Why do all the crazies run to me with their crazy stories and odd social behavior. I am starting wonder if I am a crazy magnet.
Nonetheless, I arrived safely at my hotel. A friend of mine picked me up at the airport. I almost missed her as my plane was early and that's right....I had to pee! The fitness centre here at the Radisson is great and I am loving every minute of it. Yesterday, was a cardio day. Today, legs and shoulders. My routine was so much easier this time. Now with that said, my trainer will read this and increase the weight for next week. AHH! Spaghetti legs...here we come.
In all honesty, I feel amazing. So good!! And I am happy I made this choice to change my life and I am happy that my body is starting to feel normal again....that is if I can define what normal is. The only problem is that my core exercises have made my stomach very sorry....just sitting up in bed is work. Why am I doing this again????
AS :)
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Day 7: October 10,2010
Here I sit, on the bed of my hotel room with my bff. (and god only knows what body fluids have been poured into the fibers of the bed cover we sit upon. Ewwww!). The bff that I sit with was very instrumental in my passionate germaphobic paranoia as it was her Mom who paved the germaphobic way for me. From hovering over toilets, to flushing with my foot, to NEVER EVER putting my purse on a counter or table, never sharing a drink or a fork and absolutely never sitting on the bed cover of a hotel room as I am doing right at this very moment! Oh if her Mom knew about the germs at the gym. But that really has nothing to do with anything.
As bff and I sit here and discuss our weight loss adventures, one thing has proven true for both of us. We both want to find our "inner hotness" again. You know, to walk past a mirror and not feel repulsed or horrified at the extra baggage, the lines and of course all the history. As we sit here, we realized we have been friends for 20 years. And over the span of those twenty years, we have loved each other through thick and thin (literally). I have been every weight in the last 7 years. That's right. My lightest, my heaviest and now I'm stuck in the horrifying world of in-between. My friend cannot believe that she tipped the scale last year at a whopping 205lbs while pregnant with her last child. Women everywhere struggle with weight, weight loss and weight gain. Why is it that if a guy is over weight, it's okay? In fact, they are even allowed to age. It's okay if they are grey, withered and saggy. But if a woman is any one of those three, she is automatically disqualified having her "inner hotness" stripped from her with no shred of dignity or self-esteem left.
As I stood in the office of my trainer for my body comp last week, I was reminded how bad I really felt about myself. The fat calipers have a way of being brutally honest. That's right, my friends, she used fat calipers on me. She measured every fold of skin and there I stood feeling humiliated. She asked me if I was comfortable dropping my pants so that she could get an accurate measurement of my thigh. OF COURSE I AM NOT COMFORTABLE. But I needed to know the truth. And the truth be told, if I would have managed my body and health better, I would not have to stand in her office with my pants down and suffer the accurate honesty of the fat calipers. It was a very sobering moment. Alas, when the truth is known, it does set you free in a sense. It reveals the unknown and uncovers that which is hidden. How can I change without first measuring the truth, then setting reasonable goals and then celebrating my success?
Goodnight Bloggosphere!
As bff and I sit here and discuss our weight loss adventures, one thing has proven true for both of us. We both want to find our "inner hotness" again. You know, to walk past a mirror and not feel repulsed or horrified at the extra baggage, the lines and of course all the history. As we sit here, we realized we have been friends for 20 years. And over the span of those twenty years, we have loved each other through thick and thin (literally). I have been every weight in the last 7 years. That's right. My lightest, my heaviest and now I'm stuck in the horrifying world of in-between. My friend cannot believe that she tipped the scale last year at a whopping 205lbs while pregnant with her last child. Women everywhere struggle with weight, weight loss and weight gain. Why is it that if a guy is over weight, it's okay? In fact, they are even allowed to age. It's okay if they are grey, withered and saggy. But if a woman is any one of those three, she is automatically disqualified having her "inner hotness" stripped from her with no shred of dignity or self-esteem left.
As I stood in the office of my trainer for my body comp last week, I was reminded how bad I really felt about myself. The fat calipers have a way of being brutally honest. That's right, my friends, she used fat calipers on me. She measured every fold of skin and there I stood feeling humiliated. She asked me if I was comfortable dropping my pants so that she could get an accurate measurement of my thigh. OF COURSE I AM NOT COMFORTABLE. But I needed to know the truth. And the truth be told, if I would have managed my body and health better, I would not have to stand in her office with my pants down and suffer the accurate honesty of the fat calipers. It was a very sobering moment. Alas, when the truth is known, it does set you free in a sense. It reveals the unknown and uncovers that which is hidden. How can I change without first measuring the truth, then setting reasonable goals and then celebrating my success?
Goodnight Bloggosphere!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Day 6: October 9th, 2010
Weigh in day: #*%@! Time of death 7:45 a.m. Cause of death: Scale reading = 165lbs. Let's just say, I ain't whistling Dixie today.
But in the true spirit of Thanksgiving, I am going to do my best to give thanks...... I am thankful I did not gain any weight. I am thankful for my mirror that reminds me daily why I am training. I am thankful for my washing machine because it makes my gym clothes smell fresh and clean. I am thankful for my jeans that are too tight because they too remind me why I torture my body at the gym every single day. I am thankful for the toilet...because it is a wonderful addition to the bathroom and since I spend most of my day on it, I don't know where I'd be without it. I am especially thankful for the semi-truck that drove over my scale and crushed it into a thousand tiny pieces after I threw it out my window this morning. I am thankful tomorrow is a new day and I get to start my work out routine all over again. And most of all, I am thankful that scales are now on sale at Pharmasave!
Happy Thanksgiving to you...eat, drink and be merry!
Hope you are all having an amazing Thanksgiving that is full of great memories, fabulous friends and delicious food!
Andrea:)
But in the true spirit of Thanksgiving, I am going to do my best to give thanks...... I am thankful I did not gain any weight. I am thankful for my mirror that reminds me daily why I am training. I am thankful for my washing machine because it makes my gym clothes smell fresh and clean. I am thankful for my jeans that are too tight because they too remind me why I torture my body at the gym every single day. I am thankful for the toilet...because it is a wonderful addition to the bathroom and since I spend most of my day on it, I don't know where I'd be without it. I am especially thankful for the semi-truck that drove over my scale and crushed it into a thousand tiny pieces after I threw it out my window this morning. I am thankful tomorrow is a new day and I get to start my work out routine all over again. And most of all, I am thankful that scales are now on sale at Pharmasave!
Happy Thanksgiving to you...eat, drink and be merry!
Hope you are all having an amazing Thanksgiving that is full of great memories, fabulous friends and delicious food!
Andrea:)
Friday, October 8, 2010
Day 5: October 8, 2010
Day 5. Today started out great. Joanne and I got to the office, checked emails and since the weather was gorgeous, we walked to Tim's for my decaf and one sweetener. I don't drink coffee anymore as it seems to have a very negative effect on my mental state. You know the crazy squirrel in the movie "Over the Hedge"? Well, that is me when I drink coffee. It's not good. It's ugly. And sometimes people get hurt. So, at the request of my friends, I stick to the unleaded juice. Well......usually, I stick to the unleaded juice. And today just happens to be one of those days that I broke my rule. Now, when Joanne reads this, I will get an email from her in which she will chastise me for drinking leaded coffee. As she discovers that I have broken the unpardonable, it will however, explain my somewhat frazzled state after my meeting today. And since today's events clearly point out that I should never touch coffee again, I am going to share with you what I will do differently tomorrow. I hope that you can use this short list of do's and do not's to help you on your own journey.
3 things I will do differently tomorrow:
1. I will remember to bring my i-pod to the gym: Today I discovered that my music drowns out my incessant groans, moans and huffing. I didn't actually realize that I made any noise while lifting my weights. In fact, I usually roll my eyes at all the "fit" people who huff and puff and groan when they are working out. It is kind of like being in a music store and some kid is listening to some tunes through headphones. When hearing a song they like, they shout "GREAT SONG", not realizing they are in fact shouting. Everyone in the store hears them and well, they look dumb. And I usually laugh at the kid who is yelling. Today, I realized that all week, I have been just like the dumb kid in the music store. But instead of saying great song....I am snorting, snuffing and groaning LOUDLY. And since I in all my wisdom added coffee to the mix...I was not subtle in any way in regards to my breathing. If they hadn't seen me with their eyes, I am sure they would have wondered who let the horse into the gym. Somebody shoot me now!
2. I will wear my BEST underwear: Oddly enough, my underwear of choice today was a poor one. I did not think about them too much when I put them on. Since I have been so busy I am a little behind on laundry. We all have them...those last few pairs of underwear that we never wear unless there is nothing else. And since I forgot some of my underwear at my friends house in Toronto, my supply is low. (It is always so nice when your friend washes your underwear for you and mails them to your office. I should have them on Tuesday. I just have to get to the mail before Joanne. Talk about the all-humiliation hour). Anyways, I was in a hurry this morning and just grabbed them and got ready. Little did I know, I would be playing tug-a-war with them while trying to work my triceps. Every time I started the overhead tricep pull...they climbed....oh did they climb. And since I was at the gym a little later today, there were people around. And mirrors on all sides. There was no where to hide so that I could play this little game of tug-a-war. I thought that I could maybe *sneak* a pull when no one was looking. So I tried it. In fact, I tired five or six times. BECAUSE I JUST COULDN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!! AND THE COFFEE...IT MADE ME DO IT. I COULDN'T IGNORE THE BIT OF MATERIAL THAT WAS IN A PLACE IT SHOULD NOT BE. And I know the people there...SAW me do it. But I don't care. I am Andrea, aka Fat Monster Slayer, hear me roar! I will pull my wedgie if I want to and nobody is going to stop me. I felt like a real lady today. I am Brad's delicate little flower........................
3. I will not drink coffee: It may have been the fact that the lady working at the gym told me to calm down and breathe when I came flailing into the gym that made me realize the coffee had hit my system. Perhaps, it was my constant tugging at my rear and my inability to block it out. It could have even been my caffeinated snorting and huffing that took place. I do know one thing. Coffee makes me crazy and everybody else can see it but me. Now that it's out of my system, I will admit...I may be on edge a little bit when I drink coffee. But try to understand, it is like catnip to a cat for me. I love it. I want it. And when I get it. I go wild. It did help me to finish my workout in record time. Hmmm........
To wrap this up, tomorrow is my rest day. I eat clean. No workout. Avoid pumpkin pie and mom's homemade buns. Wear good underwear. Have fun. Oh and did I mention I have to weigh in tomorrow. OH GOD....HELP. But the most exciting part of tomorrow is that I am only 15 days away from getting my first cheat day. Oh what a glorious day it will be. My trainer says I may feel sick...I say...BRING IT ON BABY.
3 things I will do differently tomorrow:
1. I will remember to bring my i-pod to the gym: Today I discovered that my music drowns out my incessant groans, moans and huffing. I didn't actually realize that I made any noise while lifting my weights. In fact, I usually roll my eyes at all the "fit" people who huff and puff and groan when they are working out. It is kind of like being in a music store and some kid is listening to some tunes through headphones. When hearing a song they like, they shout "GREAT SONG", not realizing they are in fact shouting. Everyone in the store hears them and well, they look dumb. And I usually laugh at the kid who is yelling. Today, I realized that all week, I have been just like the dumb kid in the music store. But instead of saying great song....I am snorting, snuffing and groaning LOUDLY. And since I in all my wisdom added coffee to the mix...I was not subtle in any way in regards to my breathing. If they hadn't seen me with their eyes, I am sure they would have wondered who let the horse into the gym. Somebody shoot me now!
2. I will wear my BEST underwear: Oddly enough, my underwear of choice today was a poor one. I did not think about them too much when I put them on. Since I have been so busy I am a little behind on laundry. We all have them...those last few pairs of underwear that we never wear unless there is nothing else. And since I forgot some of my underwear at my friends house in Toronto, my supply is low. (It is always so nice when your friend washes your underwear for you and mails them to your office. I should have them on Tuesday. I just have to get to the mail before Joanne. Talk about the all-humiliation hour). Anyways, I was in a hurry this morning and just grabbed them and got ready. Little did I know, I would be playing tug-a-war with them while trying to work my triceps. Every time I started the overhead tricep pull...they climbed....oh did they climb. And since I was at the gym a little later today, there were people around. And mirrors on all sides. There was no where to hide so that I could play this little game of tug-a-war. I thought that I could maybe *sneak* a pull when no one was looking. So I tried it. In fact, I tired five or six times. BECAUSE I JUST COULDN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!! AND THE COFFEE...IT MADE ME DO IT. I COULDN'T IGNORE THE BIT OF MATERIAL THAT WAS IN A PLACE IT SHOULD NOT BE. And I know the people there...SAW me do it. But I don't care. I am Andrea, aka Fat Monster Slayer, hear me roar! I will pull my wedgie if I want to and nobody is going to stop me. I felt like a real lady today. I am Brad's delicate little flower........................
3. I will not drink coffee: It may have been the fact that the lady working at the gym told me to calm down and breathe when I came flailing into the gym that made me realize the coffee had hit my system. Perhaps, it was my constant tugging at my rear and my inability to block it out. It could have even been my caffeinated snorting and huffing that took place. I do know one thing. Coffee makes me crazy and everybody else can see it but me. Now that it's out of my system, I will admit...I may be on edge a little bit when I drink coffee. But try to understand, it is like catnip to a cat for me. I love it. I want it. And when I get it. I go wild. It did help me to finish my workout in record time. Hmmm........
To wrap this up, tomorrow is my rest day. I eat clean. No workout. Avoid pumpkin pie and mom's homemade buns. Wear good underwear. Have fun. Oh and did I mention I have to weigh in tomorrow. OH GOD....HELP. But the most exciting part of tomorrow is that I am only 15 days away from getting my first cheat day. Oh what a glorious day it will be. My trainer says I may feel sick...I say...BRING IT ON BABY.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
October 7, 2010: Day 4
And so here we are....day 4. Today, I felt great. I had lot's of energy, accomplished a lot at work and had a GREAT time at the gym. What was so great about the gym? I'm glad you asked. Today, I left work early to pick up some office supplies we were in desperate need of. On my way to the gym, I was stopped at a red light. I was zoned out in a way as I waited for the light to change to green. But something extraordinary caught my eye. At first I questioned whether I was really seeing what I thought I was seeing. Glancing into my rearview mirror, the man in the truck behind me was "digging for gold". Oh yes, he was really really digging. It was so very gross but I couldn't seem to stop staring at him. And then he did it. And what he did caused such a violent reaction in me that it stayed with me for an hour or so after the incident. You guessed it. He found gold alright. And like any new discovery, he examined it for a moment and then methodically slipped it into his mouth. I was horrified at what I had just witnessed. With the light now green, the traffic began to move. As I sit there stunned and sick to my stomach, I almost hit the oncoming Purolator truck in the other lane...I heaved and heaved again and quickly skirted out of the way. On we go to the gym...
Now, is it just me or is the women's change room a bit of an awkward space. I try to look away or just turn away when other women are changing. Today is the second day in a row that someone took their sweet time leaving and examined me changing. No, they don't actually look at me, but they glance in the mirror and look at me as if I won't notice them peeping. It's like the crack between the bathroom stall door and the wall. People look in the crack all the time and they do it as if they think you don't know that they can see you peeing. It's not rocket science people! I SEE you. And I don't like it. Maybe it's my stunning ripples of fat that has them mesmerized...one never knows these days.
Now once I escaped the locker room, I did my core exercises. I must brag a little...as I am at level 4 for intensity. Woot! Woot! My trainer drew little diagrams for me so that I would remember how to do them. And then she put a smiley face beside the reps. Does she know that her happy little smiley face does not make the exercise any easier? Or perhaps her little smiley face is mocking me.....yes, she is laughing at me with her happy little smiley face. Why doesn't she draw an angry face because that's how I look when I fall off the big ball and crash to the floor. DARN YOU SMILEY FACE! DARN YOU!!!
On to the treadmill. With great music echoing in my ears I begin my cardio routine. Soon, Joanne joins me on the treadmill beside me. What a nice surprise! Of course, I felt the need to offer her a little entertainment and since the celtic music I was listening too was not doing it for me. I needed a distraction. So, in Andrea style, I began to get jiggy on the treadmill. Now in NO way do I recommend that you try this on a moving tread so please do not try this at home. But skipping and dancing seemed to pass the time. I am sure the people behind us thought we were crazy especially when Joanne shared her ear bud with me. Now, the two of us side by side, sharing an earbud attached to her ipod...we began to dance and rock out to....that's right...FLASHDANCE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILWSp0m9G2U . Of course, no one else had any idea what was going on. But we had fun and we burned calories....and we danced. In a gym made of steal, made of stone, we heard the music, closed our eyes and felt the rhythm......tripping and stumbling almost simultaneously and potentially killing ourselves....today.....we SLAYED our fat monster. And we will do it again tomorrow!! OH...What a feeling!!!
PS- Today, I encourage you to slay your fat monster.... be it chocolate, wine or painkillers......what's your kryptonite? (This is dedicated to MK) Thanks for the laugh today!!
Now, is it just me or is the women's change room a bit of an awkward space. I try to look away or just turn away when other women are changing. Today is the second day in a row that someone took their sweet time leaving and examined me changing. No, they don't actually look at me, but they glance in the mirror and look at me as if I won't notice them peeping. It's like the crack between the bathroom stall door and the wall. People look in the crack all the time and they do it as if they think you don't know that they can see you peeing. It's not rocket science people! I SEE you. And I don't like it. Maybe it's my stunning ripples of fat that has them mesmerized...one never knows these days.
Now once I escaped the locker room, I did my core exercises. I must brag a little...as I am at level 4 for intensity. Woot! Woot! My trainer drew little diagrams for me so that I would remember how to do them. And then she put a smiley face beside the reps. Does she know that her happy little smiley face does not make the exercise any easier? Or perhaps her little smiley face is mocking me.....yes, she is laughing at me with her happy little smiley face. Why doesn't she draw an angry face because that's how I look when I fall off the big ball and crash to the floor. DARN YOU SMILEY FACE! DARN YOU!!!
On to the treadmill. With great music echoing in my ears I begin my cardio routine. Soon, Joanne joins me on the treadmill beside me. What a nice surprise! Of course, I felt the need to offer her a little entertainment and since the celtic music I was listening too was not doing it for me. I needed a distraction. So, in Andrea style, I began to get jiggy on the treadmill. Now in NO way do I recommend that you try this on a moving tread so please do not try this at home. But skipping and dancing seemed to pass the time. I am sure the people behind us thought we were crazy especially when Joanne shared her ear bud with me. Now, the two of us side by side, sharing an earbud attached to her ipod...we began to dance and rock out to....that's right...FLASHDANCE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILWSp0m9G2U . Of course, no one else had any idea what was going on. But we had fun and we burned calories....and we danced. In a gym made of steal, made of stone, we heard the music, closed our eyes and felt the rhythm......tripping and stumbling almost simultaneously and potentially killing ourselves....today.....we SLAYED our fat monster. And we will do it again tomorrow!! OH...What a feeling!!!
PS- Today, I encourage you to slay your fat monster.... be it chocolate, wine or painkillers......what's your kryptonite? (This is dedicated to MK)
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Day 3, October 6, 2010
So, today is weigh day...and to my *shock*, I weigh exactly the same. I guess it's better than weighing more. And no, I'm not really shocked. Of course, Joanne has had enough of my incessant crunching and munching all day long. And in the true spirit of being a bosom buddy and lifelong pal, she may have even mentioned something on fb about it. But that is the least of my worries. As I am adapting to my "new" life as a fat slayer, I have noticed something I didn't before. It may come as a surprise to you, but I had forgotten what it feels like to be hungry. Considering the fact that I eat 5x a day, I didn't expect it. But it came. And it came with a vengeance.
While watching the girls at swimming lessons today, I felt....I felt...ummm.......HUNGRY. At first, I didn't know what it was. Then I recognized her for she was ferocious and I quickly I remembered her. I felt so hungry that I thought my stomach was going to eat itself. And of course, I had to pee not once but twice in the course of an hour at the pool. Now, if you have ever been to the aquatic centre you will know what peeing there can mean. Me being a passionate germ-a-phobe, I had to tip toe into the women's bathrooms. Since swimming lessons had been on for quite some time, you can only imagine what the bathroom was like. If I could have avoided it, I would have. But after consuming so much water (thank you dear trainer), there was no way I could wait. So, I decided I would have to face it. I would face the dark deep bowels of the wet bathroom. I crept around the corner and backed in to the stall so as not to see. But I couldn't help it. I had to look. There was bits of wet toilet paper and grits and bits of things everywhere. Looking down, the water on the floor had a slight tint of yellow to it. But I had no choice. Barefeet and all, I was all in now and I had to pee. I began to hover over the toilet seat as it was wet from a variety of wet little girls who pee'd there before me. As I hovered, my quads began to quiver. It was leg and shoulder day at the gym and after doing what felt like a thousand *deep* squats, I knew at this point, my legs would never hold. Crashing down to the disgusting, wet, dirty, germ infested toilet seat, I finally was able to relieve myself. I told myself, it was okay. I would just boil myself after to kill the germs and all would be well again.
Sitting by the side of the pool, I still felt hungry. A woman walked past us chasing her daughter and asked, "does a 3 year old really pee this often". I replied to her, "I don't know, but I sure do". I don't know why but she gave me a funny look and walked away.
I was starting to feel grumpy again. I was hungry, I had to pee again and there was something about my daughter's coach that just bugged me. Every time she walked past me, I was overcome by an incredible urge to body check her into the water. In fact, as she would pass by us, I would whisper to myself...."bodycheck, bodycheck, bodycheck,bodycheck". There was just something about her that made me want to push her off the edge of the pool and into the water. Could it be the fact that I had to pee or perhaps, it was my stomach eating itself, maybe it was the fact that my husband was telling me what I should eat on my cheat day. Yes, I think that's it. Only 18 days until a cheat day. On my cheat day, I get to indulge. Now, considering everything, I was just not in the right kind of mood to have Brad tell me what I should be eating on my cheat day. In fact, I politely said to him (as polite as I can be when I'm irritable) I will choose what I will have on my cheat day and no one on this earth will tell me what I have to eat. Of course, he took full advantage of the situation and continued to tell me what he would like us to eat on my cheat day. He continued to push me. Push, push, push, push, push.....and so it was, like a movie in slow motion I bolted from my seat. I ran at full force and body checked the coach into the pool. Then I laughed.
Okay. I didn't really do it. But I wanted to. Chocolate...does anybody have some chocolate? Day 4....come on day 4.
Andrea:)
While watching the girls at swimming lessons today, I felt....I felt...ummm.......HUNGRY. At first, I didn't know what it was. Then I recognized her for she was ferocious and I quickly I remembered her. I felt so hungry that I thought my stomach was going to eat itself. And of course, I had to pee not once but twice in the course of an hour at the pool. Now, if you have ever been to the aquatic centre you will know what peeing there can mean. Me being a passionate germ-a-phobe, I had to tip toe into the women's bathrooms. Since swimming lessons had been on for quite some time, you can only imagine what the bathroom was like. If I could have avoided it, I would have. But after consuming so much water (thank you dear trainer), there was no way I could wait. So, I decided I would have to face it. I would face the dark deep bowels of the wet bathroom. I crept around the corner and backed in to the stall so as not to see. But I couldn't help it. I had to look. There was bits of wet toilet paper and grits and bits of things everywhere. Looking down, the water on the floor had a slight tint of yellow to it. But I had no choice. Barefeet and all, I was all in now and I had to pee. I began to hover over the toilet seat as it was wet from a variety of wet little girls who pee'd there before me. As I hovered, my quads began to quiver. It was leg and shoulder day at the gym and after doing what felt like a thousand *deep* squats, I knew at this point, my legs would never hold. Crashing down to the disgusting, wet, dirty, germ infested toilet seat, I finally was able to relieve myself. I told myself, it was okay. I would just boil myself after to kill the germs and all would be well again.
Sitting by the side of the pool, I still felt hungry. A woman walked past us chasing her daughter and asked, "does a 3 year old really pee this often". I replied to her, "I don't know, but I sure do". I don't know why but she gave me a funny look and walked away.
I was starting to feel grumpy again. I was hungry, I had to pee again and there was something about my daughter's coach that just bugged me. Every time she walked past me, I was overcome by an incredible urge to body check her into the water. In fact, as she would pass by us, I would whisper to myself...."bodycheck, bodycheck, bodycheck,bodycheck". There was just something about her that made me want to push her off the edge of the pool and into the water. Could it be the fact that I had to pee or perhaps, it was my stomach eating itself, maybe it was the fact that my husband was telling me what I should eat on my cheat day. Yes, I think that's it. Only 18 days until a cheat day. On my cheat day, I get to indulge. Now, considering everything, I was just not in the right kind of mood to have Brad tell me what I should be eating on my cheat day. In fact, I politely said to him (as polite as I can be when I'm irritable) I will choose what I will have on my cheat day and no one on this earth will tell me what I have to eat. Of course, he took full advantage of the situation and continued to tell me what he would like us to eat on my cheat day. He continued to push me. Push, push, push, push, push.....and so it was, like a movie in slow motion I bolted from my seat. I ran at full force and body checked the coach into the pool. Then I laughed.
Okay. I didn't really do it. But I wanted to. Chocolate...does anybody have some chocolate? Day 4....come on day 4.
Andrea:)
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
October 5, 2010: Day 2
Day 2. Head down. Work hard. Eat clean. Pee A LOT. I didn't sleep well last night. Partly from all the excitement of day one and partly stress and partly that I was 3 days late. Well, all because I was three days late. And I am never late. Except for when I am pregnant. So, I laid in my bed, eyes open wide thinking....OMG, I'm pregnant. What am I going to tell people especially after I announced my weight to the world? Hi, Day 2. I'm off the wagon because I'M PREGNANT! AND NOW I AM JUST GOING TO GET FATTER AND FATTER. AND I WILL PROBABLY NOW HIT 200LBS. MY LIFE IS OVER.
It's funny how I seem to over dramatize things when I am tired. I woke up a few short hours later...and nope...not pregnant. Hallelujah! So, know that I had very little sleep and a stressful one at that...and so I began day 2. Everything about today was good. I spent the morning catching up on email, peeing, more emails, eating, more emails, peeing. It was VERY productive. My favorite part was watching the people in my lunch meeting inhale their chinese food at Casey's. That was especially enjoyable. I don't actually like Uncle Bob's soup. I don't like the shrimp, pork, broccoli, savoury broth....or the wantons.........................or the shrimp.........................did I mention the pork............................................?
My biceps and back definitely are feeling the effects of yesterdays workout. It is good though. I have energy. I feel good. I am not pregnant. Did I mention I am not pregnant?
Today I feel fit as a fiddle. Fine as frog's hair. I can actually see some definition in the hanging skin under my arm. NO, I SEE IT. Even if it is all in my head. The hanging flesh is a little less...hang-y-ish. At least it is moving a little less than it did on Sunday.
The gym today was much better...love cardio days. Except for when I got to the gym, there was a lady eating her apple in the change room...the sweaty, smelly change room. And I had to change my clothes. And yeah. It was weird.
Tomorrow I will face my demons. It is the time to know the truth. It is weigh time. God...I hope the truth sets me free........
(Yes, I will tell you what I weigh. But know that I will make sure to remove every piece of clothing and empty every last bit of waste out of my body before I weigh so as not to add in any extra ounces. Oh come on...we all do it).
It's funny how I seem to over dramatize things when I am tired. I woke up a few short hours later...and nope...not pregnant. Hallelujah! So, know that I had very little sleep and a stressful one at that...and so I began day 2. Everything about today was good. I spent the morning catching up on email, peeing, more emails, eating, more emails, peeing. It was VERY productive. My favorite part was watching the people in my lunch meeting inhale their chinese food at Casey's. That was especially enjoyable. I don't actually like Uncle Bob's soup. I don't like the shrimp, pork, broccoli, savoury broth....or the wantons.........................or the shrimp.........................did I mention the pork............................................?
My biceps and back definitely are feeling the effects of yesterdays workout. It is good though. I have energy. I feel good. I am not pregnant. Did I mention I am not pregnant?
Today I feel fit as a fiddle. Fine as frog's hair. I can actually see some definition in the hanging skin under my arm. NO, I SEE IT. Even if it is all in my head. The hanging flesh is a little less...hang-y-ish. At least it is moving a little less than it did on Sunday.
The gym today was much better...love cardio days. Except for when I got to the gym, there was a lady eating her apple in the change room...the sweaty, smelly change room. And I had to change my clothes. And yeah. It was weird.
Tomorrow I will face my demons. It is the time to know the truth. It is weigh time. God...I hope the truth sets me free........
(Yes, I will tell you what I weigh. But know that I will make sure to remove every piece of clothing and empty every last bit of waste out of my body before I weigh so as not to add in any extra ounces. Oh come on...we all do it).
Monday, October 4, 2010
October 4, 2010: Day 1
Day one. 21 days. No cheats. Work out hard. Eat clean.
I almost threw up last night when my trainer emailed me my BMI and weight. The cold harsh reality of the truth. Ouch. Bleh. It hurts. To think that my slender, sleek body that once existed in this world with 129lbs of toned muscle had slipped into a state of 165 lbs of rippling fat. Life as I know it, is over. I have struggled for a while to slim down and be healthy. This summer was the icing on the cake (great choice of words) for me when I finally came to terms with the fact that I am officially a chunky monkey. It is time for my life to change. My goal is to lose 25lbs and get healthy and once again grace the beach in a bikini with my head held high. Actually, just to put on a bathing suit and not feel like the evidence of my poor lifestyle was obvious to everyone would be good enough for me.
I have hired a personal trainer and today is day 1 of the rest of my life. When I got out of bed this morning I said to my dear husband, "Well, today is the first day of the rest of my life". With that said, I began drinking. No not that but 4 litres of water each and every day. 4 Litres! That's right folks. Just imagine what that does to your bladder and your bowels. To say the least, I spent the majority of today eating, drinking, going to meetings and peeing. I spent more time in the bathroom today then I did at my desk. And here I sit, blogging and sharing with you while I sip a diet pepsi (Yes, I am allowed diet pepsi). However, I still have to consume 500mls of water before the night is done. Dear God help me...I will be peeing all night.
The gym. Chest and biceps are the body parts of choice today. I walked into the gym confidently. Ready to take on the fat that has invaded my body. The first exercise was bench press. So, I lay on the bench and begin 20 reps with just the bar. Yes, that's right, all I can handle is the bar. And much to my surprise, the bar seemed heavier today than it ever has. By the 14th rep, I thought I was going to die. And I knew at that point that I needed the help of a spotter. And I am so not going to ask for help with the bar!! How embarrassing. And I am especially am not going to ask for help from the 60 year old woman who can lift more than me. (How did I get so out of shape). I don't know what is worse, asking for a spot for the bar or dropping the bar on my chest because I can't lift it up. Hmmmm. Just for the record, I did complete my assigned exercises. And I left the gym embarrassed because I dropped the bar on my chest! LOL.
Now, I know that some of you may say that 165 lbs may not be that bad. But my genetics are not on my side for weight and since my last pregnancy which didn't end so well, I have not been able to lose the extra weight. It is something that affects how I feel on a day to day basis. I know I can do better and this is the story of my journey. The first 21 days of my eating plan do not allow me to indulge in any way. This should be simple. Is Thanksgiving this weekend?
See you tomorrow!
Andrea :)
I almost threw up last night when my trainer emailed me my BMI and weight. The cold harsh reality of the truth. Ouch. Bleh. It hurts. To think that my slender, sleek body that once existed in this world with 129lbs of toned muscle had slipped into a state of 165 lbs of rippling fat. Life as I know it, is over. I have struggled for a while to slim down and be healthy. This summer was the icing on the cake (great choice of words) for me when I finally came to terms with the fact that I am officially a chunky monkey. It is time for my life to change. My goal is to lose 25lbs and get healthy and once again grace the beach in a bikini with my head held high. Actually, just to put on a bathing suit and not feel like the evidence of my poor lifestyle was obvious to everyone would be good enough for me.
I have hired a personal trainer and today is day 1 of the rest of my life. When I got out of bed this morning I said to my dear husband, "Well, today is the first day of the rest of my life". With that said, I began drinking. No not that but 4 litres of water each and every day. 4 Litres! That's right folks. Just imagine what that does to your bladder and your bowels. To say the least, I spent the majority of today eating, drinking, going to meetings and peeing. I spent more time in the bathroom today then I did at my desk. And here I sit, blogging and sharing with you while I sip a diet pepsi (Yes, I am allowed diet pepsi). However, I still have to consume 500mls of water before the night is done. Dear God help me...I will be peeing all night.
The gym. Chest and biceps are the body parts of choice today. I walked into the gym confidently. Ready to take on the fat that has invaded my body. The first exercise was bench press. So, I lay on the bench and begin 20 reps with just the bar. Yes, that's right, all I can handle is the bar. And much to my surprise, the bar seemed heavier today than it ever has. By the 14th rep, I thought I was going to die. And I knew at that point that I needed the help of a spotter. And I am so not going to ask for help with the bar!! How embarrassing. And I am especially am not going to ask for help from the 60 year old woman who can lift more than me. (How did I get so out of shape). I don't know what is worse, asking for a spot for the bar or dropping the bar on my chest because I can't lift it up. Hmmmm. Just for the record, I did complete my assigned exercises. And I left the gym embarrassed because I dropped the bar on my chest! LOL.
Now, I know that some of you may say that 165 lbs may not be that bad. But my genetics are not on my side for weight and since my last pregnancy which didn't end so well, I have not been able to lose the extra weight. It is something that affects how I feel on a day to day basis. I know I can do better and this is the story of my journey. The first 21 days of my eating plan do not allow me to indulge in any way. This should be simple. Is Thanksgiving this weekend?
See you tomorrow!
Andrea :)
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