Chunky Monkey

Chunky Monkey

Friday, November 26, 2010

Day 53: Part I

My deepest apologies for not posting the last couple of days. I travelled to Saskatoon on Wednesday to be part of a focus group and was not done until late. And then last night...again...I was tied up until very late. I chose to sleep as I was seriously lacking common sense and emotional stability. That's just my way of saying I was over tired. Craziness has been in full swing and I have so much to share with you!!

My weight....well...Aunt Flo showed up a whole week early and with a vengeance. I am not sure why she is here because she is unwelcome here. However, the sooner I get her visit over with the better so on we go to happier days. And since it is quite obvious earlier this week by the sappiness of my posts...I should think it was quite evident to you what was happening in my body. In fact, someone at swimming lessons asked me if I had my period because she read my blog and thought it was very hormonal. Thank you Corla!! LOL!!

Anyways, I have discovered that I retain approximately 2lbs of fluid when "she" is here and so if I remove those two pounds...I am right on target. (Aunt Flo I mean...not Corla.) I dislike weighing myself and that dislike turns into pure hatred when the power of the cycle is in full swing. But regardless, I feel good. My emotions are stable and I fit into a size M again. I can't believe I was in an L. Ahhhh! Anyways, the L days are over.

On my way to Saskatoon, I had another fight with the Elrose Tavern. Of course, I had to pee again. Really, REALLY bad!! And glancing over to the left I saw that their 'open' sign was lit. It lured me off the highway only to deceive me. There posted in the door was a small hard to read sign, 'closed for a memorial service'. AHHHH! I ran out of the car in disbelief and shook the door hoping it would pop open. NO, I shouted. Your open sign is on....you liar!!! The door was locked up tight. I was not peeing at the Tavern today...at least not in the toilet....all because of a memorial service. I know I know...it's not all about me...but when a girl's gotta pee...a girl's gotta pee!!

And so I found myself yet again in another awkward and uncomfortable situation. Since I was bursting with pee, I began thinking about a creative pee alternative. The gas station across the road was open. But this was the gas station where I peed outside on camera. Oh gawd...do I really want to see the faces of the men who probably watched me pee over and over and over again on their surveillance camera? The answer is no...no I do not want to know who has seen my booty. But I have no choice. I must face them or I will pee my pants. So over to the gas station I go. With my head held low, a hat on and dark sunglasses, I attempted to enter the station in stealth mode. Hoping no one would notice...I crept in through the front door. And there was an old man standing there. Oh gawd...he knows!!! He knows it was me who peed behind his fuel truck. And I knew he knew because he looked away quickly. He was probably snickering to himself or in disbelief that I would be back. Back to pee on his property. ( In my head....Shame, shame shout the villagers!!)

I walked through the door and asked where the bathroom was....he just reached out his left arm and pointed at the door. It looked yucky in there. It was dark and dank. The toilet was old and not looking as if it had seen a brush in quite some time. The wall was situated very closely to the toilet and as I squatted to hover over it, my knees banged up against the dirty feces sprayed wall. Realizing that I cannot hover because of the proximity of the wall, I sat on the seat. I SAT on it. I was dying inside...pee your pants....or get your butt dirty. I chose to get my butt dirty. BLEH! I finished my business and promptly left the building. Not looking to the left or the right I peeled out the parking lot. Not so stealthily. And when I passed Elrose again on the way home I waived....but it was a different kind of waive if you know what I am saying. ;)

That concludes Part I. Part II to come later. Off to the gym now.........




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