So what did I do yesterday? I am not working. I am at home with my angels. Well......
Yesterday was full of surprises. Not the real surprising kind but the kind where you tilt your head sideways and say...."really?".
Joanne and I took our gang of kids to the swimming pool. Maybe it was because swimming seemed like a good idea. Or perhaps it was the fact that my girls were attempting to kill each other and the whole "yelling and fighting" thing was getting on my nerves. So, after my appointment, we had a date with the swimming pool.
After dropping off Jael at my Mom's, Eden and I headed out to my doctor's appointment. We sang together with Abba (so completely fun and krazy), which was playing on the radio, and shortly arrived at the doc's office. I needed a refill on my birth control, so the appointment was going to be short and sweet. After visiting with the doctor for a few minutes, she handed me my prescription. We continued to visit and Eden promptly studied the carefully typed prescription. In amazement she exclaimed, "Your middle name is Carol??? You don't look like a Carol!"
I quickly explained to her that I don't really like my middle name (who does?) and that I generally don't tell anyone what it is. Eden then asked me..."does Daddy know?"..."Yes, daddy knows"..."oh... what is birth control"...."ummm...it's a pill that stops me from getting pregnant"...."I want a baby boy"...."you want to have a baby boy or you want me to have a baby "...."I want you to have a boy, I want a brother"..."Ummm...no...no more babies, I've had my share". Of course, the doctor sat across the desk from us and thoroughly enjoyed the entire conversation. This was only the beginning...of things yet to come.
Off to Joanne's house! Eden asked me if I was going to swim with them. I told her probably not and of course she needed to know why. So, I was honest. "I haven't been to the gym in a few days and I just feel.....well....I feel kind of fat". Horrified she exclaimed, "Mom, you are NOT fat". And in the very next breath she said, "I know all of the swear words"...."really?"...."yes, I do. I know the a-word, the b-word, the c-word, the d-word, both f-words and the s-word". Of course, I was skeptical and didn't believe her. After all, the last time we talked about swear words, she told me that the f- word was frick. I was relieved to say the least. So, I asked Eden to spell the a-word, then the b-word and the f-word. In complete and utter horror, my mouth dropped open as Eden had spelled them all correctly. She didn't know the c-word...thank you God!!! I reminded her that those words were not proper and should not be used....unless of course she likes to eat soap.
It gets better. She then asked me, "what do those words mean?". Ahhhh!!! So, I explained them best I could and just avoided the f-word all together. Oh yeah...I am mother of the year now. I taught me kid the slang for poop. She then asked me if there was a swear word for every letter of the alphabet. I don't really know but I'm sure there is. (What is up with all the questions today?)
So, off to Joanne's to drop off a coffee and then out to my other friends for coffee. Krazy. I know. Tis the season, right? At my friend's for coffee, her son was really excited to show me his Christmas present from his brother which was a picture of Marilyn Monroe. Of course, we then discussed Myley Cyrus, Jimmi Hendrix and Queen. The word STD came up and of course, Eden jumped right in. "What is an STD?", she asked. And being that my friend is a nurse and love's to educate, Eden got an ear full. So, my 8 year old knows what the swear words mean, knows my middle name and learned what an STD is...all in one day. OMG!!!! This is too much for the mamma!! Thank God she didn't ask what safe sex was. Phewww!!
Feeling pleasantly plump and horrified of the days conversation topics, we headed to the pool. The pool experience was great as it was relaxing and the kids were entertained. Joanne and I sat by the pool like good Chunky Monkeys do and tried to figure out if there really was a swear word for every letter of the alphabet while we munched on some carrots. I know...we are very mature. However, we had fun but had to work hard at blocking out the little boy (12 years old) who ran out of the change room screaming and twisting his nipples and the Sasquach man who really did look like the Sasquach. Joanne told me to quit staring. I couldn't help it...I was in awe. At first glance, one would think he was swimming with a wool sweater on, at second glance one would think it was the Sasquach himself and finally at third glance, one realizes it is a very hairy version of a man who is built like a Sasquach.
Geeez....it's time for holidays to end and to get back to work. It's scary what a person's mind does when it has idle time. I guess the good part was that the sasquach-man was motivation for me to stay on the "fitness" wagon and never fall off.
In an attempt to spin all this positive, the "rest" and the break has been good for me knee. Off to the Physiotherapist again today. Then gym tonight....no and's if's or buts! I think I need cookie.
Andy :)
No comments:
Post a Comment