Day 77

Tis the season to be jolly er umm...jiggly....and that is an understatement to say the least. There is a plethora of cookies, cakes, cinnamon buns and treats that have overtaken the office. In fact, since their hostile takeover, they have taken some of my colleagues hostage. The fate of their now ripple free bodies now hangs by a thread. Will they succumb to the lure of the fat monster?? Will the strain of Christmas goodies get the better of them? Will it get the better of me? I think not!!

So far, my record remains unblemished as I have not fallen prey to the countless calories that taunt me daily as I walk past them. They send out an aroma in an attempt to lure me out of my office and into the fat snare. Others that have gone before me have fallen. They fought valiantly but they fell...for the fat monster had overtaken them. And this Christmas, more will stumble, some will be destroyed...but I....I FEAR thee not evil fat monster!! I resist your incessant calls to me. Even in the midnight hour, I turn my face away from the refrigerator. My eyes will not search to and fro looking for something to devour. I will not excavate deep into the bowels of the deep freezer for a cookie. I will not pay attention to your constant cries.

Friends, countrymen, fellow fat slayers, lend me your ear. The fat monster cries out, but we will not listen. We will fight!! The fat monster will try to take our bodies, our health and our lives...but we will not bend...we will not bow and it will never..... have........ our freedom!

Voice over:(Look at me....ah yes.....even in the heat of the calorie battle, I remain strong....regal.....honorable...........I want a cookie. Chocolate chip oatmeal...mmmm).

Okay...I know...way over the top. But I must get pumped up for the "eating marathon" that starts on December 24th. When did our culture get so wrapped up in food? Do we really need it at every occasion? And why the excess...whatever happened to just enough. More than enough creates excess....a moment on the lips...a lifetime on the hips. IS IT REALLY WORTH IT? Voice Over: (Oh gawd...a chocolate chip cookie would SO be worth it right now.)

Anyways, I hit the gym tonight. I just got back actually. And since I don't want to bore you with the details....(did I mention the recumbent bike is absolutely the most boring exercise ever? I'd rather sit in a grade 9 geography class!!)...nothing was out of the ordinary. Well, with the exception of the gigantic pools of sweat that showed up on my lower back and ass....what do the kids these days call it...oh yes.....swass....and then there is swoob...but that one is pretty self-explanatory. I wondered why the one guy looked at me funny when I passed him. I was feeling bold, beautiful and b#$chn'. However, clearly I was not....I looked like I sat in a puddle of water...I was clearly suffering from a nasty case of swass, swoob and sweat....sigh...and the color of my gym pants announced it to the world!!! Of course, I only noticed it when I looked over my shoulder into the mirror on my way OUT of the gym. I'm going to tell you this....who ever is taking locker 81 has no idea what I go through when she takes it. I look forward to the day when I catch her putting her things in my locker.....oh yeah....it ain't over until the fat lady sings. That's right...it's all over but the cryin'!!! You fight with the bull.....YOU get the horns!! (Voice Over: What I really want....is a cookie).

Night!!!

Chunky :)