Day 78: Secret Santa

How are we feeling? We are feeling really good. Perspective seems to enlighten even the dullest of minds...today, I feel enlightened. Having had the opportunity to speak to two different mentors who are people whom I consider extremely successful, I feel (and no other word can summarize it better) blessed to say the least.

Having lost my dad to a brain aneurism when I was 12 years old...I sometimes feel like I have missed out in some ways. Let's be honest, I feel like I missed out on a lot. I don't know what I missed out on exactly...I just know I missed out on something. And at the risk of sounding juvenile and childish, I will admit that having the lap of daddy to crawl up on after a bad day...is something I have longed for....metaphorically speaking now that I am older. And my fluctuating weight has only been a side effect of things I never handled well. One of those things being the loss of my Dad. Father's are known for wisdom, stability and protection. These are all the things I struggle with...they are what I have sought out in my own life as there was tremendous lack when I was growing up.

Thinking back, Father's Day was the only day of the year that I would want to run and hide. Why? Simply because I had no father to honor. The crafts at school were all designed to give to a "dad". I never knew who to give my craft to. And keeping the craft hurt more than anything. It felt better to give it away. And since I lost my dad at so young an age, I struggle and still do with the entire concept of "dad". Having said all this...I feel like I have reaped a harvest of love and support and the "daddy" hole in my heart is being filled to the brim....and overflowing. I can only say this, "Thank you God for the people you have brought into my life".

After talking to my mentor on the phone only moments ago, he explained to me that my identity is created through out life's journey. It's okay if I am not settled on who I actually am. It takes a lifetime to discover it. And as I spend more time working, that time away actually strains the relationships I hold so dear. So aligning my priorities with my career is absolutely essential to success as I define it. And instead of seeing stress (which I feel my plate is very full) as a negative thing...I can look at it and see it as a positive thing as it provides me an opportunity to reflect. Much like change is an opportunity for renewal, stress is an opportunity to reflect. The lifestyle I lead and how I model it to my children is what matters in life.

(Maybe I haven't missed out and if I did....I am certainly not missing out now. That is the best fatherly advice...and I am thankful for it.)

Wow!! The nuggets of gold that he has given me in a few moments over the phone has really enlightened me today. His affirmation and validation of me will not be forgotten. I am so thankful for my mentors. Thank you Bryan, ML, Aunty K and Carl!!! You have challenged my thinking, my priorities and my philosophy. Relationships are really what matter the most. At the end of your life, no one will care how much money you made...people care about the value you add to their life.

My tip of the day: I always used to say...business is business. I have discovered in the last 6 months that business is not business.....business is relationships. Life is relationships. They are the only things that we can invest in that will always appreciate in value. And the magnitude at which they will appreciate is astounding when we invest in them without restraint.

Just today, I have fallen prey to two random acts of kindness. Who are you secret Santa? The flowers are beautiful and Jo and Andy send you big hugs and a big thank you. (It is driving us crazy...we have no idea who sent us flowers...and we so appreciate it. THANK YOU!). I am overwhelmed today...in the best way possible. Just ask Joanne...I jumped up and down when the flowers came...and I hugged her and almost knocked her over. I then kissed her son and he promptly wiped it off....lol! It really made my day.

AND thank you for the support for Room to Read. I am so very excited as I have received my first pair of shoes today. Actually, I received a check so that I can purchase a pair of shoes. You know who you are....THANK YOU!!! I will post a picture soon...!!! Thank you M.S.!!!

Tonight, Brad and I are going on a date........to the gym. I am very excited about it. I know...it's pretty sad that the gym is my location of choice...however, the gym is starting to feel like home to me. I miss it when I don't go. And going on a date with the love of my life at the gym....well....it will be fun. After all, he proposed to me 13 years ago....at the gym. And I can't think of a better way to spend this evening. After my day that has been so full of insight and the Christmas spirit, I can think of no better way to spend my evening. What can be more fun than sweating together....at the gym? (Okay...there are a few things...but hey...this blog is rated PG...not R. I have to respect that. ;) ).

Sincerely,

Chunky Monkey