Gym Whore

Good morning people of the earth!!

My trainer was not kidding when she said my new program would challenge me. I think she is trying to kill me. I don't know what I ever did to her that would make her want to hurt me like this. After a strenuous work out last night, a great tan and a furious outburst of anger because locker 81 was occupied....I realized that this new program is going to be really tough. But when the road gets tough...the tough get going....or something like that. I was never very good at cheezball expressions.

Yesterday, I arrived at the gym at 7pm and didn't leave until...well...let's just say the gym was closed by the time I left. The new exercises are very challenging and to just take things up a notch, I decided to ball exchanges as fast as I could. OMG!! If that doesn't get rid of my baby belly...I don't know what will.

There is a new and very effective shoulder exercise incorporated into my routine. My trainer tells me it will give me some great shape and my arms should look 'cut' after a few months of this. So, I was very excited to get started. Of course, my choice in work out gear was not ideal for this sort of exercise. But how am I to forsee wardrobe malfunctions at the gym?

As I laid face down on the incline bench something horrible happened. As I was concentrating on lifting my arms forward with a good amount of weight at 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock, I noticed two of the guys were looking at me. As soon as they noticed I was looking at them. They both looked away quickly. It was like seeing a teenage boy blush and awkwardly look away as he sees the cover of Victoria Secret for the fist time.

So, naturally, I am wondering what the heck is the matter with these two guys. Of course, in the back of my mind, I am wondering what has gone awry with me, my clothes or who knows what. What's the dealyo? I put in another few reps to finish the set so as not to "appear" as though I am uncomfortable and worried to death about what is going wrong. Looking down at myself to see what possibly could be distracting the two dedicated guys I have seen work out night after night...I SAW it! The way in which I lay on the bench (EXACTLY how my trainer told me to do it) had pushed my girls upward and top that I was wearing had no hope in hell of covering me.

Horrified...I quickly stood up. Losing my balance as my arms were now exhausted from exertion I stumbled backwards. Catching myself before falling on the floor I regained my balance. I dropped the weights and as quickly as humanly possible, pulled my shirt back up over the HUGE amount of cleavage that was on display. MY GAWD! I feel like a whore of Babylon! A chunky monkey gym whore. A plus sized prostitute.

Now you may not think there is anything wrong with a bit of cleavage but I need you to know that I am not talking about a 'bit' of cleavage. I am talking about whole LOT of cleavage.

I am NEVER wearing that top again. And I am sure I made a lasting impression on the two lugs that were watching. I didn't look at them the rest of the night and hope I never see them ever again. The only problem is that they work out every single day...aaahhhhh. I guess it's all about making memories....but from now on, I will be more careful about the kind of memories I am making and ensuring my top is capable of covering...well....my top.

Sincerely,

Gym Whore