Something went aw-ry!

The mirror has two faces. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see what is truly reflected but most days I see a clouded image of myself. It may be the steam from the shower or perhaps it is an entire array of 'history', snap shots in time and of course a healthy dose of self-loathing that cause us to see a reflection that is skewed. The world tells us what we should see. It tells us how we should look. It defines beauty for us. And everyday when we stare back at ourselves into the cloudy looking glass, we hold our selves accountable to the world's standard's of beauty. How we feel about ourselves, often defines what we see. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...when I look in the mirror, I am the beholder. I see what I want to see. Chunky Monkey or diva? Or maybe a diva chunky monkey.......with a grass skirt doing the hula!! Okay...perhaps not. I do question, if I was a guy, would I be attracted to me? Probably not...lol!!

With that said, I have missed an entire week at the gym. Yup...I fell right off the wagon....right on my head. I still ate right....I just didn't run. But tomorrow, I am back on. I want this so I am going to do it. I miss the endorphins and the general feeling of good health. It's time to kick this chunky monkey body in the ass and seriously whip it in to shape. The ball is rolling...so why stop it.

Instead of standing in front of the mirror tomorrow morning and being disgusted with myself, I will just not be disgusted. When I stand in front of the mirror naked...thinking...dear God...can it be true??? Or when I lay on a beach and the Save the Whale's people try to push me back into the water...well...you kind of figure you have a problem. And the reality that I wasn't feeling that good yesterday or today should not be a reason to skip out on the gym. The gym is part of my life now. Chunky Monkey goddess is who I am. I go to the gym because I need it like I need to breathe. It is a part of my day. So what went awry? I will tell you....I got lazy. That's it. L A Z Y. So, let's grab the bull by the bulls and do what we gotta do!!

okay!!! Enough of the positive confessions and self-affirmations! Just get your butt out of bed, shower, get dressed, kiss your family, work hard and work hard at the gym. That's all it takes. It's just like running....just put one foot in front of the other and do it!!!

So, tomorrow when I blog....I will tell you about the 2nd day of the rest of my life. Why the 2nd day? Because the first day was day one of this journey. And now that I 've plateau'd....tomorrow will be the 2nd day...as I am entering a new dimension. Beam me up Scotty!!

Andy :)