Day 97: Forecast: Sunny

Sometimes I have to stop and catch my breath. It is so easy to get caught up in all the ups and downs and ugly parts of life and forget who I am. I am reminded today....of who I am and where I am going. And even though things sometimes feel really really challenging....hopeless...and absolutely impossible....there is always a rainbow after an ugly storm. And even if I have to paint a friggin' rainbow on the ceiling of my bedroom...I will. It will remind me at the end of every ugly day, that after every storm, there comes one of this earth's most beautiful phenomenon's--the rainbow. Metaphorically speaking of course. I am determined to see my rainbow!!!!!!!! This is the year!!! The year when my tears will be dried...and all of my promises and hopes....will NOT be denied. Forecast: SUNNY

You may not agree that a rainbow in phenomenal...that's okay...I really think it is quite beautiful. I used to imagine when I was a kid what it would be like to find the end of a rainbow. Stay with me here...I KNOW finding the end of a rainbow is impossible. I did graduate!! I imagined these things as a little girl. But if a person could find the end of it...I imagine myself running through a pasture....and passing through each vibrant color. Perhaps I would have to run 50 feet before leaving one color and leaping into the next. I imagine each of the colors to be invigorating and amazing in their own way. The beauty of the light it produced would be unsurpassable and it would feel like another time and another place. Anyways, I used to daydream about rainbows in this manner when I was a little girl. And there is still something amazing about rainbows to me...even though I am 32 years of age. Okay fine....I am almost 33 but I am not there yet!!

Rainbows are amazing...from a biblical perspective, they are God's promise not to flood the earth. From a child's perspective, they are an amazing discovery that stimulates curiosity and imagination. From an adult's perspective...well...they are not even worth mentioning. But for me (I am not an adult everyday), they are a reminder that after we go through something....And that is the point, if we go through something, we don't stick around...we keep going to the other side. And on the other side is an amazing display of color and light. No storm....no rainbow.

All this deep rainbow talk is simply my way of working through some personal relationship struggles. I shared with you at the end of last year that I wanted to improve the relationships that matter to me. Not an easy process. A painful one. But a necessary one. So that is where I am at today.

This morning I woke up feeling down. Of course, Sundays seem to always come with a vengeance for me. I don't know why. I don't like Sundays. They are sad days for me. And since today I woke up and was feeling under the weather...the Sunday blues were that much more forceful.

I decided that I could not lay in my bed a moment longer for many reasons. First and foremost, being down and out doesn't go away unless pushed away. Secondly because my trainer had instructed me to start my new program today. And finally, my beautiful angels were anxious for me to hang out with them. Let's be honest...they were hungry.

I got up. Made lunch. (The time between getting up and making lunch consisted of...me getting out of bed at 10:30, eating my breakfast, greeting my family and laying back down in my bed feeling sorry for myself). Then I decided enough was enough and reviewed today's training program. I get bonus points with my trainer if I work out today. First on the agenda....run 10 KM. That's it....just go to the gym and run 10 K. AAAHHHH!!! I can't just run 10 K!

Well, I went to the gym. I ended up running 6.76 KM within 60 minutes. So, I am first of all slow and second of all under the 10 K. That's okay. I am actually feeling quite good about it. I have never run that far in my life so for me this is a great achievement. And the endorphins after...my God!! I felt like I could have solved world hunger and cured cancer this afternoon. So, I decided to get groceries. A little less rewarding than solving world hunger and curing cancer, but still very necessary. The children have to eat you know!!

I must say...I feel great. My body hurts so I am getting ready for a hot bath...with a wee bit of Radox muscle soak in it. I will finish reading my magazine. I will snap my fingers for Raul...for he will bring me my hot tea and then he will massage my feet. I will sit back in my jet tub and just drift away. SNAP OUT OF IT!! Fine...I will sit in my tub...sip cold water from my tap...and scrub the calluses from my feet. Reality bites!! But running felt GREAT.

Now, I just have to work myself up to running 21KM and I am ready for a half marathon. YIKES!!!! Anything is possible right? So, it's possible for a chunky monkey to run in a marathon and not die??? Has it ever been done by a fatty before??? Well, there's a first time for everything. And after all, the race will be worth it....for there will be a rainbow for me at the end of it.

Night!!

Chunky