I am certainly ready to eat clean and get back to the gym. I feel like I've been on a 10 day food bender. I don't regret it one bit but getting back to the basics is going to feel really really good. I know I did some damage.
Wednesday afternoon I was scheduled to fly home. Who am I kidding....I was leaving home to fly back here where I live. Anyways, I said my goodbye's and rushed into the airport. After a not so pleasant check in as the...let's just call the airline Fair Panada for the sake of saving them the embarrassment....anyways, the Fair Panada rep was having difficulty figuring out how to process my credit card for my additional bag. This is all together dumb in my opinion...but oh well. $20 for a second bag...that I need because I can't put my "liquids" in my carry on. Because I am most certainly "terrorist" material and therefore need to go through the hassle. And of course, you can't just include the second bag in the seat fare. That would be wrong! Needless to say, the delay at check in made me a little late. The security line was full of people and after skipping ahead of a few people and making them angry, I found my way to the front. Look...nothing was going to stop me from getting on my plane. So I thought!!
ANYWAYS, after having my hands swabbed...yes...they swabbed my hands at security...probably because I look like a "weed" smoker and a blow sniffer...Gawd...really?...you are really swabbing my paws?? Sup wit dat lady?? She made me feel dirty. Where was I...oh yes...after being terrorized at security I quickly reassembled my bag that they had so abruptly searched. Like really...do I really look like a threat? So, I put my bag back together and rushed down the escalator because now I am really really late. I ran past someone standing on the escalator and almost knocked them off with my bag that was hanging over my shoulder. My bad...oops. Well, I was minutes from boarding my aircraft...no time to spare. Get out of the way!!!
After arriving at my gate, I approached the rep at the gate desk and asked if I had enough time to use the washroom before boarding the plane. The rep did not even look up from his desk and curtly told me that my plane was not even at the gate. Feeling a little unhappy with the treatment I received, I went and used the washroom. And yes, I washed my freshly swabbed hands. Upon my return, an announcement was made for a gate change. Noticing a struggling elderly lady pushing her own wheelchair while the airline reps walked past her, I helped the lady find the gate as she was noticeably upset and stated she did not know where to go. I don't think she could see...poor little thang! After getting her settled, I sat down and was interrupted by yet another announcement. The rep announced that the now delayed flight had been oversold, the aircraft was carrying additional fuel and due to high winds...there was a weight restriction. She then announced pre-boarding. I watched other people who paid money for their seat just like me board the airplane. I approached the desk and the airline attendant looked me in the eye and said, "I'm sorry ma'am...but due to a weight restriction, I cannot permit you to board the aircraft".
Feeling a little disgruntled, I realized that my 10 day food bender must be bad if I am too fat to get on the damn aircraft. I saw other people who are clearly larger than me board the plane. Why me?? What about the pudgy little boy who is as wide as he is tall who just got on....why was he allowed to board. And what about the lady who you know...was...you know....bigger. Come on...admit it...if an airline attendant looked at you and said you can't board because of a weight restriction....one does have to wonder....is it really because there are too many people....or is it because I had wine....and chocolate frequently. I wanted to put my fingers around her throat and demand that she tell me the truth. I can take it. Come on...tell me!! Tell me I'm fat!! Just spit it out you skinny little beeotch. As my mind drifted off into a very ugly scenario....the flight attendant interupted me...ma'am....excuse me ma'am....
Snapping out of my daydream, I made my way to the customer service desk. Yikes!! Looking at the line up, I explained to the other delayed and inconvenienced passengers what just happened in my mind. Well, I caused some trouble as the line up of people were laughing and carrying on so much that the already disgruntled customer service rep got even uglier! Ooops!! I am just p-ing off everybody today.
Awww...it wasn't so bad. I spent another night in my "second home", had some chocolate, watched American Idol and drifted off to sleep. Gawd...it's back to the gym on Sunday!!!!!! And eating clean...well...it's kind of like that song by White Snake....."here I go again"! I have to get fit and fast as I am off to Vegas in a month. And before you curl your lip and frown at me....it's for work!!! I can prove it!!!
Night bloggosphere!!
Sincerly, Chunky (Over the Weight Restriction)
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