The Underwear Gauge

Off to the gym this morning! I figure I have to get that out of the way as tonight is a big night for my niece and I wouldn't miss it for the world. The theme of the day today is to work out...really really hard. I have some catching up to do as the last week was a complete write off. I am done to 154 lbs and that is brilliantly awesome...however, if I would have stayed on track, I would probably be down to 151 lbs. So close to breaking the 150 lb barrier. So at the gym today, I am going to work hard. I have a philosophy that if I can keep the same pair of underwear on after my workout...I have not worked out hard enough! And if I can keep the same pair of underwear on...well...that is just plain disgusting. Anyways, it's a good gauge...if your body is soaked with sweat...then you did a good job. If not, you are completely copping out.

Jo and her chillin's were over last night for dinner and Jo so emphatically expressed to me that I was obnoxious again and how happy that made her. Awww...what a great bfff! And I can't even retaliate because she knows my visa number, login passwords for virtually everything and my pin. So revenge is not even an option. But I did enjoy hanging out with her. And it was way better than having "company" that comes only for the food and take no time to socialize because they are too busy. Not too busy to eat my food but too busy to have a coffee after?!! You know who I mean...the kind that are like grasshoppers. They come, they eat, they leave. I didn't actually invite you over to eat...I invited you over to visit!!

Everything we do is so focused around food. When the people of the earth gather....they eat. Some drink. Some dance. Some drink and dance but they all share one thing in common.....they eat. And I am guilty of this too. I can't count the number of times that I have approached the dinner table like a ravenous gluttonous starving hyena. I said 'like' a starving hyena...not that I am one. Clearly....I am not. Take a look at the meat on my bones. If I was the Thanksgiving turkey, I would be the one that needs the supersized roasting pan. So just imagine how awkward it is for me to run with all the junk in my trunk. I kind of look like a supersized turkey with shorts that ride up her arse and of course with the added benefit of thighs of thunder.

But I intend to change that. I am going to go run today and do back and triceps. Saturday is rest day and CHEAT day........AND Sunday....I am going to run 10km. Jesus help me.

Okay....have a great weekend my cyber buddies!!! I will post again on Sunday night....unless something amazing happens. Or something ridiculous. Who am I kidding...something ridiculous always happens. So, expect to hear from me. Toodles.

ps- I am listening to Rock and Roll Girl right now.....Rock on peops of the earth!! And I forgot that I was only in my underwear and only remembered that when I was standing on my front step getting the mail out of the mail box this morning. Somebody kill me please!! AHHHHHH!!!! Okay...putting the People Magazine down and going to the gym!!!!!

Andy

pps- dedicated to my fabulous five!! Click here!

It's How You Run The Race

Just as promised...I made it to the gym. And just as expected it felt really really good!! It's not whether you win or lose...it's how you run the race, right?! That metaphor is so true and it is so true when it comes to running. It is all about technique. The more I improve my technique, the more efficiently I will run...thus causing me to finish well. This is so true in real life. I am going to finish well.

Part of "running the race" requires me to break-free of some old cycles and patterns in my running. I noticed today that I clench my fists tightly when I run. Becoming aware of my tightened fists allowed me to relax my hands...thus conserving energy. Instead of looking down at the timer on the treadmill, I look straight ahead to ensure proper posture and form. Looking down is dangerous in running as one cannot see oncoming danger....but more importantly form is compromised and in doing so....one cannot focus on the finish. You have to look ahead when you run...you can't watch your feet or have your head down. You have to lift your chin up. When you lift your chin up, you can see what lies ahead....the beginning of a slope....or the end of one.

Runner's occasionally hit the "wall" in running. In that moment, every part of you feels like it will collapse. Your lungs burn, your thighs throb and your brow is soaked with sweat. You don't feel like you can push yourself any farther. But upon pushing past the end of yourself, you break-thru your wall and find yourself energized and capable of pressing on.

And there will always be those people on the sidelines who should be your biggest fans...but they throw their sticks and stones on your path to trip you up. But if you look just a little farther down the road, your family is cheering you on every step of the way. And it is because of them that you find the strength to dodge the obstacles and finish well.

And since I feel like I belong in Texas (everything is big in Texas)...I know that I am an overcomer. And even though I am extremely tempted to just be a hippie and live on a beautiful beach in Australia...I will not give up. What the heck am I talking about?! I am going to Australia and being a hippy. Well...I am going to be a clean hippy at the very least. But just so there is no confusion...no dreads allowed and I am most certainly going to wear anti-perspirant. I don't know why...but now I have that annoying song from the Pee Wee Herman Movie...."The stars at night, are big and bright.....(clap, clap, clap, clap).....deep in the heart of Texas". What a dumb show! Well, except for Large Marg....I loved her!! She was big. And from Texas. But then so were the Beverly Hill billies....I could use some Texas Tea about now. Then I could inflate the prices, make all of you pay even more for fuel and then slowly take over the world. Ah....what a feelin'!!

Night...this Chunky is chunked out!! Slayin' the fat monster one ounce at a time!!

Andy

Something went aw-ry!

The mirror has two faces. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see what is truly reflected but most days I see a clouded image of myself. It may be the steam from the shower or perhaps it is an entire array of 'history', snap shots in time and of course a healthy dose of self-loathing that cause us to see a reflection that is skewed. The world tells us what we should see. It tells us how we should look. It defines beauty for us. And everyday when we stare back at ourselves into the cloudy looking glass, we hold our selves accountable to the world's standard's of beauty. How we feel about ourselves, often defines what we see. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...when I look in the mirror, I am the beholder. I see what I want to see. Chunky Monkey or diva? Or maybe a diva chunky monkey.......with a grass skirt doing the hula!! Okay...perhaps not. I do question, if I was a guy, would I be attracted to me? Probably not...lol!!

With that said, I have missed an entire week at the gym. Yup...I fell right off the wagon....right on my head. I still ate right....I just didn't run. But tomorrow, I am back on. I want this so I am going to do it. I miss the endorphins and the general feeling of good health. It's time to kick this chunky monkey body in the ass and seriously whip it in to shape. The ball is rolling...so why stop it.

Instead of standing in front of the mirror tomorrow morning and being disgusted with myself, I will just not be disgusted. When I stand in front of the mirror naked...thinking...dear God...can it be true??? Or when I lay on a beach and the Save the Whale's people try to push me back into the water...well...you kind of figure you have a problem. And the reality that I wasn't feeling that good yesterday or today should not be a reason to skip out on the gym. The gym is part of my life now. Chunky Monkey goddess is who I am. I go to the gym because I need it like I need to breathe. It is a part of my day. So what went awry? I will tell you....I got lazy. That's it. L A Z Y. So, let's grab the bull by the bulls and do what we gotta do!!

okay!!! Enough of the positive confessions and self-affirmations! Just get your butt out of bed, shower, get dressed, kiss your family, work hard and work hard at the gym. That's all it takes. It's just like running....just put one foot in front of the other and do it!!!

So, tomorrow when I blog....I will tell you about the 2nd day of the rest of my life. Why the 2nd day? Because the first day was day one of this journey. And now that I 've plateau'd....tomorrow will be the 2nd day...as I am entering a new dimension. Beam me up Scotty!!

Andy :)

PS-

Jo is baking cookies!!! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME JO? I know what I want and I want it now.......I WANT COOKIES!!

Just put a bell around my neck, throw me in the pasture and call me Betsy!!! Mooo!

The Interview: Behind the Scenes

I FEEL LIKE MY OWN PERSONAL ROCKSTAR?? Oh my gawd...what was I thinking???

Andy

Day 108: Chunky Monkey TV

So...here is a little taste of Chunky Monkey TV....ahhhh!!

Chunky TV

I am feeling very chunky right now!!! And I haven't been to the gym yet!!! Nooooo!!! Long day....very long day. And so tomorrow will be another very busy day....but I will eat according to plan. I will not cheat. Even though there will be chocolate chip oatmeal cookies and a plethora of other amazing treats. (God...help me!!)

Andy :)

Day 107

I started today with a good dose of Abba, a Saskatchwan Sunrise and a mini dance party in my bathroom. Who says I can't rock out in my shower?! In my bathroom...I am a rock star!! Today started out grrreat!! In an attempt to have some effective "team building", I took Joanne south of Swifty today to see a breath taking Saskatchewan sunrise.

With the great sound of Abba pumping through my trucks speakers...we took in the sunrise. And then suddenly, I had an idea. I tossed my camera at Joanne and burst out of the car door. Not even thinking, I ran across the blustery highway in my heels and turned my back to the sun. I didn't consider the fact that I was standing in the middle of a highway as I struck a pose. Quickly, Jo snapped a pic and I bolted back to the safety of my vehicle. Oh what a feeling!!! It was great team building, it was completely insane and it was a great way to start the day.

The day kind of seemed like a smelly sardine sandwich. It started good, the middle stunk and the end was awesome. The day ended with a Great Big Sea concert...what could be better than that? I had so much fun!! In fact, it reminded me how much fun having fun is. I am a little reluctant to admit this...but I missed the gym today. I figure a GBS concert was worth it. And since I still stuck to my eating plan, the fat monster will not gain any territory on me today!!

Tomorrow is a big day as I will be filming the first chunky monkey episode, getting my body comp completed and preparing the final preparations for our business launch on Friday.

And I am super pumped as two of my dear friends...one from TO and the other from NY are coming tomorrow night. This will be a true test for me as I am training and will not be able to have a party in my mouth. AHHHH!!! I am already weak in the knees just thinking about it. I must stay strong. I can get through a weekend of celebratory food and beverage and not give in to the cries of the fat monster. DIE you screaming glutton!! Die!!

Things to take note of: 1. Joanne baked me a wonderful batch of her amazing short bread cookies with chocolate chips on top. Melt in your mouth....goodness!!! Cheat day was amazing...thank you god for chocolate chips!!! 2. My fitness friend Gail is kicking butt in her battle to slay the fat monster- you are doing so good and you look great. I know we are competing against each other in the gut buster's challenge...but woooo...you lookin' good girl!!! 3. Life is full of the good, the bad and the ugly. In fact, every day has all three of those elements. I choose to remember the good, to move past the bad and make the ugly pretty.

Chunking out!!

Andy

Day 106

5 a.m. came with a vengeance this morning as I woke up absolutely famished. I have never felt so uncomfortable in my life. I laid in my bed for an hour and a half thinking about how good breakfast would taste and feel. And it's not a good sign when a person is dreaming about how good oatmeal will taste. And then I fell asleep. And then I woke up again and I was sure I had the flu as I felt like I was going to woof my cookies. However, how can one "woof their cookies" if one's stomach is completely empty? It's called dry heaving...and there is nothing good about that.

So after eating my oatmeal, protein shake and orange, I felt way better. However, shortly after feeling better about my breakfast, I went to make my bed and noticed that my finger (the one I cut last night making supper) split open and bled right by my pillow. Of course, I am completely disgusted as I forgot about it until now. Now being...the time I get back into bed for the night. ARRRGH!

I did however, surprise myself today when I went to the bathroom and pulled my dress pants down....and realized that I forgot to undo them. Wooo...bye bye hips. This is a good sign and it makes me think that all the running is worth it. It is right??

I am getting all psyched up for Thursday as we are filming our first two minute episode of chunky monkey. AHHH!! My nerves are definitely not nerves of steal!!! I am not feeling very fit....and doesn't television make you look fatter than you already are?! AHHH!!!!! I just spent three months losing ten pounds...now a camera is going to add twenty! My heart crumbles into a pile on the floor only to be swept up and thrown into the trash. (DRAMA...I know...but I can't help it....it's part of who I am so....just deal with it).

I hope I can sleep. Nervousness plus hunger...not a good combo. Throwing up now....

Sweet Dreams!!!

Chunky